General / Off-Topic How do I tell everyone around me that I'm sick of it?
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This. this, and this again.
Think of it like driving a car, you need to look where you want to go before you can go there. So, if you're are coming up to a corner too fast, you first need to look through the corner to the other end, and then your body will react more accurately to the situation, your feet will lift off the accelerator, press on the brake, your hands will turn the steering wheel, the car will start to turn. Now, keep in mind, nothing is ever guaranteed, and you may not make it around that corner, but you will have had a far greater chance than if you had kept looking straight - because that is guaranteed failure. IE - there is always a delay between when you start taking action, and the end result. Don't stop 99% of the way through because you think you won't make it!
In the same way, life works like this - look at where you want to go, and focus on it. Don't focus on where you are now. If there are people putting you down, tell them to get stuffed, in whatever strong language you choose, and keep walking. Wear dark sunglasses if you want to avoid eye contact. Whatever you need to do to help you look forward at your goal.
There is a Youtube vid called The Gift I saw ages ago. Now, don't get too excited about the "hocus pocus" side of it, it's full of a lot of crap, but what it does have is an accurate underlying message. People who are successful achieve what they have because they work towards their goal, and single mindedly focus on that goal.
My goal in life, as a kid, was to live my life in such a way that I could travel the world. I achieved that about 10 years ago, and am on a flight to somewhere else every 3 or 4 weeks. I didn't know how I was going to do it, I just knew it's what I wanted, and I worked my butt off and found a way. In my case that meant lots of failures and mistakes, learning from them, and applying what was learned, then moving forward, always focusing on that goal.
Life always throws you a few curve balls, the difference is some people adapt and make the most of it, others let it push them down. Don't let the hurdles stop you. Find something that motivates you - a passage in a back, a quote, a song, a music video - whatever. Whenever you feel like your getting into a rut, rewatch/read/listen/whatever to that thing that reminds you of your goal and motivates you - as many times as you need to.
Only you can do this, set a goal, earn it, then set another goal - never stop trying to get to your next level of awesome.
Z...
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Uni, as I said, do not expect miracles regarding your mind. Take steps slowly, no fear, and bear bruisings and pushbacks. Small steps. Don't rush and don't let fear stop you.
Admit to yourself that you can and probably fail many times before getting it right. I am still failing. I am sad and frustrated. But I am not gonna let that stop me. I will try again. There are no easy steps or rule book written for us. All is what we make out of it.
Admit to yourself that you can and probably fail many times before getting it right. I am still failing. I am sad and frustrated. But I am not gonna let that stop me. I will try again. There are no easy steps or rule book written for us. All is what we make out of it.
I'm reminded of Robert the Bruce and the Spider.
Keep trying til you win.
Keep trying til you win.
The Answer is the same as last time you made this Topic
Your Troubles Run way deeper then the Internet can possibly help you with.
So the only Advice we can really give you yet again. Is to Seek Professional Help from a Psychologist.
Unlike us Random People on the Forums here. These Guys know what they are doing.
We can give you some Preptalk and tell you to get of your rear. We can Support you by listening to what you did and thus be People for you which Acknowledge your Progress.
But we aint Psychologists. We cant offer you the Advice and Therapy that you need to Solve this Issue.
So you really need some Professional Advice and Likely Therapy where someone actually Teaches you properly just what is wrong and what you need to do about it.
Needless to say that the Psychologists also got Access to some Drugs that can help you by making you more Relaxed or by Inhibiting a Hormone that causes you to get Fearful and Anxious etc.
Seriously.
Get Professional Help.
The Forums wont help you
Just Believe me on this.
At the Point where your so Desperate that you swallow your Pride and look for Help from Strangers in the Internet. It is high time that you got Professional Help.
And I apologize for saying it clearly.
But at the Point where you are. Its just not a thing that will get any better or go away without Professional Help.
This aint some Cold that will just go away after a while even without seeing a Doctor by taking some Household Medicines and get some Rest.
What you got is a Serious case of Depression and possibly other Psychological Trauma and Conditions.
And without Professional Help it will just get worse and worse until toughts about taking your own Life become something thats no longer something you consider doing but then decide against. But will turn into something that you will have trouble to resist.
You need Help Mate.
Stop delaying and get Professional Help while your still in a Condition where its something that can be Dealt with without you really going through Hell for it.
Your description reads as if you are suffering from depression - you have many of the signs (that I recognise) but as I don't know you personally, nor am I a medical practitioner, it would be best to go speak to a doctor.
That does not necessarily mean pills, but talking to someone first of all face to face is the first step to recovery.
Source: own experiences. Yes, I have been where you are today. You need help - go speak to someone.
I am not a practitioner, but to go to sit on a bench in the quiet of a church to meditate for a long periods of time and once a week for several months, can bring you a beneficial support, even if you are not believer (the goal here is not to pray).
The silence, the smells, the atmosphere, the simplicity, and the impression of a parallel world of a church, will bring you a kind of inner peace.
In a period of my life, I often sat for an hour to meditate (or think of nothing, just doze by staying awake with the eyes closed) in a church, once a week. And in those moments, I felt at times a strong joy
This humility and this simplicity brought me great comfort every time
You can also go to a mosque, a Buddhist temple or other spiritual places.
All are quiet places to appease your torments
The silence, the smells, the atmosphere, the simplicity, and the impression of a parallel world of a church, will bring you a kind of inner peace.
In a period of my life, I often sat for an hour to meditate (or think of nothing, just doze by staying awake with the eyes closed) in a church, once a week. And in those moments, I felt at times a strong joy
This humility and this simplicity brought me great comfort every time
You can also go to a mosque, a Buddhist temple or other spiritual places.
All are quiet places to appease your torments
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Totally agree, for the past decade or so the UK has crapped on the mentally ill. We are demonised by the govts and thusly become targets. I dread with every fibre of my being the ordeals of "assessments" by physio's and other people with no clue about mental health. All I can say is it CAN get better, have you contacted Mind? I use my local CAB a lot, they have asked me to help out with computer courses (I used to work in IT) but due to my particular conditions I sadly couldn't. Volunteering to help people could be good for your self esteem, have people around you who WANT your help and will be grateful. I know there are a lot of...to put it bluntly...scum out there, who seem to have a radar that picks up the weak and vulnerable, but there are good people too.
I understand the fear all too well, I'm pretty much scared of anything and everything and it has crippled me all my life. Some days I can't leave the house, I've had public breakdowns and plenty of private ones......There IS help out there and support, it takes a bit of digging. I still think moving away from your area could be a good option, I still can't believe you just get attacked, truly appalling.
Please for the love of god never EVER volunteer to work for the Samaritans, you could wipe out 99% of the callers with that attitude.
Of course there are success stories, but I am talking about the statistics, and they don't look good.
Especially in the case of people with much deeper rooted and severe problems one has to be careful with promises about weight loss.
It seems to me that Un1K0rn lives a very isolated life. If that is not addressed in some way then dieting is much more problematic.
Changing a diet and basically changing daily habits (incl. fitnessing) might be very difficult for someone in Un1k0rn's situation... at least... that is what I suspect considering the little I know about his life.
I wish I lived near him. I would be very interested in visiting him, and supporting him.
You are definitely right about that, but the threshold to change can be very high for people with mental problems.
They need serious help with that, and good, competent support (support that is right for someone in a specific situation) can be difficult to get.
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I'm not going to give advice, no one can, professional or not. People can support you, they can even give you compliments to lift your spirits, but in the end there's only one person can change things.
You have been given so many good advices in this thread and I am not going to repeat them, but I’ll have to say that you are extremely good at expressing yourself. Your words hit me right in the heart, and you have an obvious talent with words, m8
. You are very gifted!Remember that!
I sincerely hope your life will improve soon.
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Bob Lighthouse
Banned
I am well aware of the statistics, but as such the numbers don't tell us what to expect from individuals.
That is a grave error.
I also don't think it's helpful to suggest that people will fail.
You can't know that for the individual at all.
When the system is failing you, you need to take matters into your own hands regardless.
You keep going back to "changing diet" and I've already pointed out that's a red herring.
We're mostly talking about lifestyle changes here.
Food hasn't even really come up.
We're talking fun stuff, like riding bikes, swimming and even wrestling with your (new found) mates.
Getting professional help is a recurring theme.
And from what I gather, he's seeking it all by himself.
He has a bike now.
I'll continue to give positive feedback when people do that.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an05/an05.198.than.html
That said, I do think you are coming from a place of kindness.
o7
verminstar
Banned
If yer sick of it then do something about it...complaining about not doing something cos ye got knocked down a few times is easy. Thats finding excuses not to do something, rationalizing it almost. Its the same thing as a drug addict who rationalizes that they simply having fun and its the rest of the world with the problem...or an alcoholic who refuses to admit its them with the problem or that the problem even exists. Yer doing fundamentally the exact same thing by shifting all the blame fer yer woes on the world and not facing upto the reality that yer just scared.
Drop the martyr act...its not the rest of the world thats at fault here. Question...how do ye walk? Spine bent, shoulders drooped, dodgy hygeine issues maybe? That makes a guy look like an easy target...just by the way ye carry yerself before opening yer mouth and uttering a single word, ye have marked yerself as an easy target with a first impression look. Would ye mess with a big guy like you who looks confident? Big guy has big shoulders so use what ye have...3ft across the shoulders ye think a lotta guys are gonna mess with that?
But if ye look like a victim, act like a victim, talk like a victim...then ye will always be a victim and nothing anyone can do or say will change that. That change has to start with you and that change wont start happening until ye realize that most of yer problems are self inflicted. Its not the world that has to adapt to you, you need to adapt to the world and that appears to be the part where yer having issues with the perception of guilt and shifting the blame away from yerself.
Ye need to be comfortable in yer own skin, confident enough to walk straight and visibly say to the world that this is who ye are and yer good with that. Its a bit like learning to accept yer own self but heres the catch...its not something ye can fake or act and be happy with...its a contradiction in that if yer acting, then yer ashamed ergo yer unhappy underneath it all.
Also if ye meet someone who is hard and level headed, they will see yer bluffing and use it against ye which will be worse fer you.
Ive seen ye getting some great advice on these forums and yer to be commended on asking fer help at all...thats always the first step to getting better, that reaching out. But man...ye really need to act on that advice and stop just reading it and agreeing with it and then not doing it cos ye find reasons to not do it. Its like an addict who will think of any reason not to give up being an addict...just one more hit...its always just one more though.
There are many here who have been through real life traumatic events and everyone has a story to tell about how they been there and been through this themselves...yours truly fer example. I grew up in one the most violent and turbulent periods of Northern Irelands ¨troubles¨...that was the outside world I had to adapt to to escape my father who beat me so bad one year, he stabbed me and put me into intensive care breathing blood bubbles with a punctured lung...he even tried to finish me off in the back of the ambulance before 5 cops eventually put him down.
But this isnt a p ing contest to see who can out do the other with horror stories of the past...we simply come from different backgrounds is all...geography. This is the word of someone from the rough end of town that ye would probably like to avoid after the hours of darkness...nobody is out to get you unless ye come with a chip on yer shoulder in which case ye mark yerself as a target...and uni its not a chip ye got, its a grand canyon and people can see that on first impression.
Thats something ye need to deal with...yer own attitude. Thats the hardest and most bitter battle ye will ever fight...but sort that out and learn to accept who ye are and everything else will fall into place in its own time. Continue to blame the world fer yer troubles...and ye will always be a target fer someone who might otherwise ignore ye.
Good luck on yer journey uni...yer not a bad sort ^
Drop the martyr act...its not the rest of the world thats at fault here. Question...how do ye walk? Spine bent, shoulders drooped, dodgy hygeine issues maybe? That makes a guy look like an easy target...just by the way ye carry yerself before opening yer mouth and uttering a single word, ye have marked yerself as an easy target with a first impression look. Would ye mess with a big guy like you who looks confident? Big guy has big shoulders so use what ye have...3ft across the shoulders ye think a lotta guys are gonna mess with that?
But if ye look like a victim, act like a victim, talk like a victim...then ye will always be a victim and nothing anyone can do or say will change that. That change has to start with you and that change wont start happening until ye realize that most of yer problems are self inflicted. Its not the world that has to adapt to you, you need to adapt to the world and that appears to be the part where yer having issues with the perception of guilt and shifting the blame away from yerself.
Ye need to be comfortable in yer own skin, confident enough to walk straight and visibly say to the world that this is who ye are and yer good with that. Its a bit like learning to accept yer own self but heres the catch...its not something ye can fake or act and be happy with...its a contradiction in that if yer acting, then yer ashamed ergo yer unhappy underneath it all.
Also if ye meet someone who is hard and level headed, they will see yer bluffing and use it against ye which will be worse fer you.
Ive seen ye getting some great advice on these forums and yer to be commended on asking fer help at all...thats always the first step to getting better, that reaching out. But man...ye really need to act on that advice and stop just reading it and agreeing with it and then not doing it cos ye find reasons to not do it. Its like an addict who will think of any reason not to give up being an addict...just one more hit...its always just one more though.
There are many here who have been through real life traumatic events and everyone has a story to tell about how they been there and been through this themselves...yours truly fer example. I grew up in one the most violent and turbulent periods of Northern Irelands ¨troubles¨...that was the outside world I had to adapt to to escape my father who beat me so bad one year, he stabbed me and put me into intensive care breathing blood bubbles with a punctured lung...he even tried to finish me off in the back of the ambulance before 5 cops eventually put him down.
But this isnt a p ing contest to see who can out do the other with horror stories of the past...we simply come from different backgrounds is all...geography. This is the word of someone from the rough end of town that ye would probably like to avoid after the hours of darkness...nobody is out to get you unless ye come with a chip on yer shoulder in which case ye mark yerself as a target...and uni its not a chip ye got, its a grand canyon and people can see that on first impression.
Thats something ye need to deal with...yer own attitude. Thats the hardest and most bitter battle ye will ever fight...but sort that out and learn to accept who ye are and everything else will fall into place in its own time. Continue to blame the world fer yer troubles...and ye will always be a target fer someone who might otherwise ignore ye.
Good luck on yer journey uni...yer not a bad sort ^
To reiterate, lots of good advice in the thread, I think it might also be worth mentioning that it can be very beneficial to (try to) develop a sense of humour about bad things that happen too. Not always easy but - if looking back - what's done is done and can't be changed and there is an old saying that says, "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you weep alone."
Learning to laugh is not only good for you physically - with deep breaths, shaking muscles, endorphins - but it's also a good psychological defence, especially against things you can't control. The world can sometimes be a seeming senseless place, absurd even, and not taking all things to heart or all together seriously - as well as other coping strategies people mention - is also worth a try imo.
Learning to laugh is not only good for you physically - with deep breaths, shaking muscles, endorphins - but it's also a good psychological defence, especially against things you can't control. The world can sometimes be a seeming senseless place, absurd even, and not taking all things to heart or all together seriously - as well as other coping strategies people mention - is also worth a try imo.
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Deleted member 110222
D
I understand it wears thin. It wears thin on me.
But where else do I go? If I talk to my family it just starts a row. And mental health care in the UK sucks. I come here because I don't know what else to do. :/
I want nothing more than for these threads to stop.
But where else do I go? If I talk to my family it just starts a row. And mental health care in the UK sucks. I come here because I don't know what else to do. :/
I want nothing more than for these threads to stop.
It's totally cool Un1korn. I for one am really glad that you have the forum to vent your frustrations.....and to those who may not like that type of thread, well.... just don't read his posts or ignore
(lol hahahahahaha you are griefing us with your grief...... oh noes.... block!!!!!... solo!.....gut gid!)
UN1KORN, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
SOME OF US REALLY DO CARE.
and if we can't help you in person, at least you know that we are listening
post as you wish till hell freezes
(lol hahahahahaha you are griefing us with your grief...... oh noes.... block!!!!!... solo!.....gut gid!)
UN1KORN, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
SOME OF US REALLY DO CARE.
and if we can't help you in person, at least you know that we are listening
post as you wish till hell freezes
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Does it help to vent here? Sometimes an outlet is what is needed. But I would defo contact Mind or CAB in your area.
One other thing I'm happy being reclusive, I'm a natural introvert so my condition isn't too disruptive to my happiness, what drags me down is "outside" elements pulling me out of my comfort zone. But if you actually "want" to go out and socialise then that's something I can't really give much advice about.
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