In nutshell Elite is very tricky game in that regard. Rogue like approach / ship death costing a lot is fundamental part of the game. Unfortunately at the moment people tend to ignore this part of the game at their own peril - or see it openly hostile, not embracing it.
I think the problem is, roguelike-style death costs don't work for a persistent game like Elite Dangerous. The key rule of roguelikes for me is that - after the very early game and barring ridiculously bad luck - all deaths are avoidable and your own fault.
The difficulty in roguelikes - the reason most players, even the skilled ones, lose tens of times more often than they win (sure, there are exceptions who win rather more than they lose) ... it comes from having to be experienced, skilled and self-disciplined enough to make the right choice every time.
So, I think there's two divergences here:
1) In a roguelike, once you do manage to 'win', your character gets reset just as if you'd 'lost'. Either way you've - in an ED-grinder cost-analysis sense - spent hours with nothing to show for it except maybe a 'you won' entry on the score table. In Elite Dangerous, once you 'win' you basically get to keep that progress and start your next 'game' with it.
1a) Conversely, roguelikes do not punish you for dying by making your next character start with even less equipment.
2) The difficulty level in Elite Dangerous is (necessarily) far less than that of a typical roguelike. Not only are dangerous situations escapable with thought, they're mostly entirely avoidable or mitigatable to the point they're not dangerous even without thought.
So, rather than a roguelike, where you die 99% of the time and the occasional success feels well-earned ... you succeed 99% of the time and the occasional ship loss is therefore far more annoying. Anyone failing 99% of the time in Elite Dangerous will rapidly find that the only ship they can "don't fly without rebuy" with ... is the Freewinder.
So the game has to be built around the player always winning (because the difference between "wins 90% of the time" and "wins 100% of the time" is way too fine a detail to balance) ... which is not a good thing (especially since PvP breaks that "promise" by having a losing player)
What I'd rather see is a return to the original Elite's balance on this:
- you die, you respawn at your last station with whatever you had there just before you launched [1, 2] - data, missions, vouchers, ship, NPCs, etc.
- things kill you a lot more, especially if you're taking risks
In theory, therefore, you lose less on death - just whatever you picked up since you last launched - so it's less consequential. In practice, this lets the risk of death be significantly increased (since dying ten times in a row doesn't set you back any further than dying once), so progress can potentially be slower overall than it is now.
People can also take risks knowing that there's a limit to how bad it can get. You might grind to get a Cutter ... but you don't then have to either keep grinding to keep it or only ever use it in completely safe situations.
I expect that would be too radical a change to put into Elite Dangerous, however.
[1] This would in practice need some modification to avoid providing a very easy way to duplicate cargo. There are a few options.
[2] Long-range exploration trips still have the same issues of course. But they could almost keep the current "mostly safe unless you get careless" balance. Or add more deep space stations so you can checkpoint it a bit.