Been told to post this here, fyi I'm not angry only regrets, but I'd like this post added to this big heap.
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Do I want to play a game I own and have a right to play but through no fault of my own I sometimes can't?
Do I want to play a game with some corporate monstrosity looking over my shoulder watching my every move?
Do I want to play a game where I can be bullied or ripped off by some quick fingered 12 year old (either directly or indirectly)?
Do I want to play a game where arbitrary rules and conditions are injected into my world that will dictate my freedom to chose what I do and when I want to do it?
I am surprised just how strongly I feel about it, but as an 84er it can't be some sudden snap reaction.
Like many I've also thought long and hard about why I regret the sudden loss of Elite D offline and my reasons actually feel strangely deep and personal, almost spiritual you could say .
Call me mad (yes I'm mad) because I'm not even sure if my regrets are entirely rational:
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I have regrets because I still think I look cool dancing to Spandau Ballet, but I secretly know I don't.
I have regrets because I still think it's great to have big hair, but when I'm honest, I know it's not.
I have regrets because I still find Blondie absolutely stunning but some now say she isn't.
I have regrets because I still believe I have no responsibilities, but the wife says I do.
I have regrets because I still think I'm young, but my kids keep saying I'm not.
I have regrets because I still hoped that I could be that geeky, sleep deprived teenager playing space games on my own late into the night in my own universe surrounded by a reality that only I commanded, no rules, that felt free from an awful, commercialised, bullying world, that was fresh and that as a young frustrated adult was the only true space in my life that was truly mine (all mine!) and the only place that at this point (or that point) in my life I could affect or influence in any meaningful way, it was my escape, it was selfish but it was mine and I was the only one watching and the only damn one in it.
So now 30 years later, I'd hoped, as an old(ish) man, when the discos over and younger one's gone, even after the lights and servers finally dim, that at least I'd be there sat, left all alone playing in the dark but as happy as Larry in my own bit of space, that I'd thought was all mine.
And now after this week I think that this my last little personal fantasy has gone too.