In general games with pvp feature players with comparable mindsets with like minded goals within the constraints of a gaming system. You battle against each other because that is what you do in that game. You might steal each others flag to earn points because that is the goal and players on both sides agree on that goal and play the game to achieve that goal. And even though players oppose each other the goal is still agreed upon.
In Elite Dangerous, with piracy, this is not the case and therein lies the problem. Human traders do not feel they are in the game to play victim to human pirates. That is not at all their goal in the game. And they do not really accept the piracy by humans as an acceptable gaming mechanism.
Human traders in Elite do not have a problem at all with AI pirates, because these AI are part of the game world that is constructed to entertain you, immerse you and give you challenges. The AI pirates are emotionless and do what they are programmed for. They will never gloat, they will never abuse, they will never grief, never gank. If they attack you they do not even really profit from your demise. They just do what they have to do. It is not heir choice. We accept them like we accept the weather. We don't get mad at a cloud that rains down on us in the street. But we do protest however when someone comes up to us and pours a bucket of water on our heads. And that is how we really perceive human piracy in the game as compared to AI piracy.
Human pirates differ from AI pirates. They have a choice and apparently they have chosen to victimize us. We simply do not trust them and their motivations, not even in a gaming context, because they are more than just a program that runs its course. There are human motivations behind human pirates and even though officially it is called role playing we still perceive their behavior as stealing, as immoral criminal behavior that victimizes peaceful traders. We do so because these humans have a choice and they choose to be thieves, muggers. They choose to do the immoral thing, steal our hard earned cash. We know we should officially accept that as just role playing, but deep within we do not, because it just feels wrong.
Players who are traders are doing their best to earn a buck. They try to get ahead in the game and pour a lot of time and effort into that goal. When human players pretend to be a pirate in Elite, if they attack human traders they still are really victimizing such a trader. They are really sabotaging the efforts of that trader. That trader is a real person who put real time and effort in his trading. The trader is role playing being a trader, he is not role playing being a victim of a human pirate who really profits from his demise. That is not at all what the trader wants, and in fact we could say the human pirates are really stealing from us. That is how it feels anyway. Saying that it is just role playing is meaningless. Because just as in real life, even more so, we feel the human pirate could simply choose not to victimize other hard working humans. He can pirate npc, who have nothing to lose, or he can choose another profession entirely. The fact that he chooses to single out humans and victimize them deep down does not feel like role playing. It feels like griefing, because actually, let's get real... there is no difference. The pirate's goals are totally opposed to our goals. He wants to profit from our 'suffering', our loss. And that we just perceive as immoral, parasitic behavior even in the context of this game.
As a player who likes PVP servers in games because I like the evolving challenges that only player to player interaction can bring, and from a standpoint that I'm (usually) not the aggressor in any given situation I disagree with what you say.
You say that players have no issue with AI pirates because they're scripted but take issue with player pirates which is a legitimate career course. I can't understand that logic.
By me accepting a multiplayer session I would be agreeing to the game's ruleset therefore I accept what comes be it good or bad, much like all players joining a game with your flag capture example.
I know there are options to try to avoid people via single player sessions and such but I hope to see as many people as possible in multiplayer to make it a varied game.
AIs never gank? Been interdicted by multiple enemies lots of times who then proceeded to try to attack me. That's ganking (gang killing) right there.
Any losses I suffer from an AI or a player pirate are still losses. In fact I could guarantee a loss from CMDR Pirate would spur me on to do better in trying to outwit him than any AI loss would.
I completely understand that we're all different and have different opinions on what's what but I'm looking forward to testing the hiring of wingmen etc, or maybe forming a small player convoy for protection. This is one example of what I meant earlier by saying about player to player interaction. It's why I've been unable to play single player games for a long time now, single player no longer cuts it for me.