The Thargoid and Fer-de-Lance

Quietus

Q
An affable, ageless newcomer enters and approaches the singer.

"Hello sir! Stupendous voice, and such taste in clothing too! I can see you're a man with an eye for the finer things in life. Let me buy you a drink, once the bartender returns, and I can show you the latest items I have obtained from Chang Chen Yi; such a lovely place. Have you ever been there? The dual sunrise is breathtaking. I'm Commander Quietus - by the way - explorer, trader, paramour, soldier. If you know what I mean?."

Distracting the gentleman from his song, the bar patrons, and staff, return.
 

Frank

Frank
Incentives

Frank enters the bar. He smells slightly worse than he normally does. He wanders up to the bar and pats the paunched man with the abnormal hair and thanks him for giving him the impetus to untie his limbs.

He then yells at the door at the back of the bar "Hey Garthyre! You busy? I just wanted ta express my apologies to you 'bout yer books. Ah plumb forgot you let folks takes the books away with them ta read on their ships. I got some peace offerings:-

Dangerous Leesti Stations - Pierre Choderlos De Laclos
Robinson Uszaa - Daniel Defoe
Three Men in a Boa - Jerome K. Jerome

These good solid classics will keep pilots busy when they piloting their ships.

An' is Psykokow around? Guess I got kinda mad over nothin'. Most likely cuz I wuz trapped and jus' gettin' mad at not being able to move an' all. I just gonna slap him in the face with a nice soft fish with no bones or nothin'. Here watch this..." He elbows the man with the suspicious hair in his pudgy ribs.

Frank reaches into his trouser pockets and sprays the surroundings with oily water when he pulls out a herring. The smell is almost unbearable as he waves it around. He shoves the fish back into his pocket. The stain on his trousers and the pool of dirty water at his feet becomes noticeable.

"I can do that appearing an' disappearing fish trick just as well as that quiet lady. So.. If you see Psykokow tell'em it still his question."
 

psykokow

psykokow
Psykokow sits cowering in the corner rubbing fish salve into his deeply reddened car.... cheek toot toot.. AAAAHH..

He can smell frank at the bar and thinks long and hard of a song to play to pacify the current atmosphere in the pub.... It has to be a cracking tune that none will dislike or get nauseous at. He thinks long about when the next sunrise will be... then it dawns on him.

" Oi Frank, Got Ye Question for ya, you know that bloke over there? We went to school together years ago... not sure who he is now.. but he likes this tune.. If you can guess it.." Psykokow beams as he knows how stupid this clue is...
Psykokow looks round greeting the new faces and looking for any breaches he can fine for... he considers ticketing Frank for the dirty wet stain and slip hazzard his fish smuggling has caused. "If anyone else can guess the song? I'll let Frank Schlap me with his fish!!!"
 

insanephoton

insanephoton
Mark contemplates asking to borrow Commander Alien's trout to hit Psykokow . "What kind of clue is that? It's nearly as bad as Bilbo Baggins' riddle 'what have I got in my pocket?'" he mutters under his breath.

Mark heads over to the juke box to play something he remembers from his youth.

The Vipers - Turning Japanese.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4

Amber rushes in, she has some news. They are going on a short trip, but have to make arrangements straight away...
 

Frank

Frank
When the boat comes in

Frank walks up to Psykokow and stands opposite him. He looks as if he is about to say something. Psykokow watches to hear what it is. He watches as Frank pulls a smelly herring out of his trousers, causing showers of oily dirty water to splatter everywhere. He stands in place and watches as Frank re-grips the tail of the slimy quivering fish to get the best hold possible. And he watches as the fish swings into his face. The cold clammy fish contacts more on the chin and throat than on the cheek.

"Is the answer The Wheels o' The Bus Go Round And Round, by The Singing Kettle? No? Good!
And this feller you talkin' about, is it that feller there with the questionable hair, an' the rolls o' fat above an' below the corset?"

Frank looks at the fish. Still holding it by the tail, he goes behind the bar and starts rummaging around for a frying pan. Mid rummage, he looks up over the bar at Psykokow, "You fancy a bit of fish?"
 

Ian Phillips

Volunteer Moderator
Ian Phillips
Reighdar gets up and asks for some finely chopped onions at the bar.
Once he has them he takes the fish from Frank and with the help of a laser knife quickly prepares the fish and covers it with the onions.

Then he walks over to Psykokow and presents it to him.
'Here, a delicacy from a country on old sol III.'
Seeing the look on Psykokow's face he adds:
'Yes, thats right - you eat it raw...'

Whilst Psykokow stared at the raw fish he was holding, Reighdar said,
"and that song you are looking for would be this, I think"
Then he punches up a song on the dukebox.
 
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psykokow

psykokow
Agent Psykokow looked at the raw fish dish, pulled his violation pad out and started writing up a fine for Reighdar.. he hands Reighdar the ticket.
'We take Lavepal and you should consider yourself lucky Im not having you charged with trying to poison a federal agent.'
Reighdar looked offended but took the ticket and turned, he then ripped the ticket and put the pieces in his pocket. As he turned back Agent Psykokow handed him two tickets...
Reighdar swore..
Agent Psykokow handed him a third ticket for abusing a health officer..

Agent Psykokow's recollection of the following events was somewhat confused. He remembered a lot of pain, noise and when he sneezes fish pops out of his ass. Reighdar had disappeared to another part of the bar and Frank stood over the agent looking down at him.
'Well is that the tune then?' Asked Frank, indicating the recent jukebox activity by himself and Reighdar.
The Agent weeped and shook his head' Sadly Frank its not'. He sneezed and a large slice of fish flew across the pub landing in Illus pint glass.'Sorry'.

It was at this point the Agent tried to make the clue make more sense..
" Oi Frank, Got Ye Question for ya, you know that bloke over there? We went to school together years ago... not sure who he is now.. but he likes this tune.. If you can guess it.."
"So artist and song if you can guess... the title is who that bloke is in relation to me"..

the Agent rubbed his aching fishy face, and pulled his trousers back up. He found a nice little booth and sat down ordering a pint of Sake.
 

illu Minti

Deadly, But very fluffy...
illu Minti
Torture!

"Nooooooooooooooo!!!!" Agent Illu can put up with alot of things, he thought nothing could phase him while hes been lurking at the Thargoid.

The sometimes strange Commanders coming and going, the hard nosed Fed agents have not troubled him, even the recent fish that dropped out of nowhere into his pint!...

No this was more serious then anything he has ever encountered, enough to drive him back to the Empire, something no Feds have been able to do......

Illu listened to Agent psykokow Battlesong! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTmXxbdDVY0 .........

I cant get it out of my head! torture!!!!!!!!! :eek:
 
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Quietus

Q
Quietus strolls back to the bar to get some drinks.

"2 glasses of the finest local vintage please." he asks the bartender.

"Can I try some of your fish dish?" he asks Agent Psykokow. "Also, that's a nice song, but I prefer the awesome parody of the single-instrument cover."
 

Frank

Frank
Was it six or only five? In all this excitement I kinda lost track

Frank looks at the finger he's just dug out of his pocket. His brows furrow as he tries to recollect why it's there. He checks both his hands. Each have five fingers. He checks for any stumps on his hands that the finger could've once been attached to. He scratches his head.

"Hey Psykokow! Is the answer ta that there riddle 'Remember The Days Of The Old School Yard' by Cat Stevens?"

He looks over at the inspector but then his attention returns to the detached finger and the question of what to do with it. He wonders if Reighdar has used up all the onions.
 

psykokow

psykokow
Agent Psykokow, glances over at Frank...
"nope.... I ave put the artists name in plain sight in the clue", the agent shook his head" i promise its not obscure like that last one, this is obvious when you Got ye head round it... You got ye brain in place... go got ye fingers into google..."

The agent looks at Frank sticking a severed finger in his nostril while he checks he has all his digits...

he flicks through his violations book, nothing in it about severed fingers in nostrils... he decided to let it pass un noted.. while he threw up under his table..
 

psykokow

psykokow
A wide smile erupts on the Agents face.
'Thats IT!!! Thats the one..' the Agent hoped that this clue had redeemed his hyper active Australian drug crazed maniac band clue...

'hey Frank, that green finger.... where the heck did you get that' The Agent told Frank all about finding a digit from the Clinical Waste Container and giving it to Illu. 'How on Earth did you get that?'.

'I think there maybe important data on the chip under the finger nail... I had hoped Illu could make sense of it... but Frank... Dont be putting it up your nose again..'

The Agent scoured the room for any suspicious characters, bloody millions of them...
 

Frank

Frank
A good riddle is one where you wanna kick yourself fer not gettin' it sooner. A bad one is where you wanna kick the feller what asked it. I should've got that one quicker.

Ah'm gonna think about a good riddle but I gotta get workin' now.

I might pop in ta see Minerva 'bout this finger. I think there still life in it. Sometimes I jus' feel like a side character in some other feller's plot.
 

Frank

Frank
It's not whether you win or lose...

Frank passes you a picture to look at. You notice in passing that he now has six fingers on his left hand. "This is a ship me an' my brother used ta own.", there's a sadness to his voice, "It's a Krait. See that metal-plated finish on it? It wuz a lovely dull white metal finish. It wuz a lovely ship. I called it The Crate seein' as it caused so much bother.

The punters called it 'Frank'n'Joe's Monster'. They wuz always interviewing us before the race. They'd be saying things like 'Is that a bolt in the neck of your ship?', and 'You think you'll finish above average today, Joe?', and 'The ship would go faster if you take out all the rocks'. Gentle ribbing. Joe even ended up hitched to the commentator's daughter. She said there wuz always a place fer him in the commentary box. They always asked him about the other racers and their ships. He was good at predicting the results too. But he didn't predict that visit of his to the podium that one time. Not too shabby fer a crate of bolts..." There was pride in the old man's voice. He looks off to the mid distance for a while, smiling to himself before frowning at you and continuing his riddle.

"So anyway, Joe had his own nickname fer the ship. From a song. The band what sang the song could be described as the smelly emission from a bird of prey."
 
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Alien

Alien
Frank said:
"So anyway, Joe had his own nickname fer the ship. From a song. The band what sang the song could be described as the smelly emission from a bird of prey."
Click to expand...

Commander Alien gets up from her corner. In her hand is her "Life" glass, she goes to bar and asks the barman to fill it up. Alien then turns to the jukebox and pushes a few buttons. She returns to her corner, with her now full glass and looks at Frank, muttering "Too easy".
 
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Caribou

Caribou
Alien said:
Commander Alien gets up from her corner. In her hand is her "Life" glass, she goes to bar and asks the barman to fill it up. Alien then turns to the jukebox and pushes a few buttons. She returns to her corner, with her now full glass and looks at Frank, muttering "Too easy".
Click to expand...

Caribou enters the bar looking suspiciously at the crowd around, it's been getting busier in here by the day. He sidles up to Frank, who's speaking to a face new to the Capt'n, but he's obviously trusted. "Hey Frank, I um... "found" a few Uni-Nav units the other day. You know anyone who may want to buy an upgrade? They don't have a guarantee but they work... Take one for your self and see if you can sell the rest, there's 10% for you in it"

"Who's the interesting women putting hawkwind on the jukebox? Not seen her round here, yet she seems like she's been here for a very long time... Do you think she's the one who called the cops?"
 

Frank

Frank
Frank notices his surroundings becoming even more dark and gloomy as he makes his way over to Commander Alien's corner of the bar. he chuckles to himself as he peers into the blackness. He can eventually see the faint outline of a figure when his eyes adjust to the dark. He passes his picture of the Krait over to Alien as best as he can.

"Hee hee hee! You've just won yerself a poison chalice. Now it's YOU turn ta set the question.

And the picture. It wuz a long time ago. Ah don't know if you could get Garthyre ta put in on the wall, but it's yours now ta do what ya want."

Frank pulls up a stool, sits down, and stares expectantly in the direction he thinks Alien might be sitting.
 
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