Every time I see a new announcement I cant help but think of one forum member in particular who has been gagging to become a mod but never makes the list. im sure some of the longer serving mods know who im talking about.
The process of "modification" is a long and arduous one.
I will reveal the process for you all.
You are blindfolded with one of Mike Evans old socks (once it's stopped moving on its own.) You are then taken to the super secret Moderator initiation investiture the location of which is a closely guarded secret.
Take the Junction between the A11 and A14 head north and take the 13th turn on the left then a right then straight on till you come to the Oak tree with the old man sitting beneath it singing the Blue Danube with a pink bucket on his head, knock on the bucket and ask him "My other ship is a Cobra" he will then reply "Not if there's a reset sunshine" the will then put his clothes on and take you to the rusty playground slide which you have to go down backward and try not to go wheeee as you do. at the bottom there is a trapdoor which opens and you land in a crumple heap in a candle lit room with loads of empty Pizza boxes and shadowy figures in secondhand cloaks.
Once there the new initiate has to pledge their allegiance to Frontier Developments, their pet cat Tiddles, Sandro's left foot and the mighty Norwich City FC (they do offer a free lobotomy that helps make this last pledge easier so I'm not the only one who has to suffer. Thats just for you MikeSnos).
Then you have to undress and put on a bit too tight purple tutu and a wetsuit with the bottom cut out. Once you are ready you then have to speak the ancient pledge vows while standing on one leg in a bucket of cold custard and fish fingers holding a copy of the Sidewinders owners manual; and a small incontinent Badger called Ethel
The Pledge is as follow.
1) I pledge to not reveal the location of the super secret Moderator initiation investiture...(oops. )
2) I pledge to not allow Psykokow to be unleashed on the general public too often as it excites him too much.
3) I pledge to merge every thread possible even if they don't need it.
4) I pledge not to laugh at T.j's appalinge spellink (until he's out of earshot).
5) I pledge to take my turn in being David Brabens footstool when our exalted overlord demands to put his feet up with a nice cup of tea and a chocolate Hobnob.
6) I pledge not to go on a mad banning rampage, unless I've had a really bad day and or just feel like it.
7) I pledge not to make eye contact with Michael Brookes when he's got the Brookes stare on full power (Instadeath is almost 100% guaranteed).
8) I pledge not to pledge any more pledges while pledging to pledge.
You then have to genuflect in front of manky old M&S sweater sealed in a perspex box surrounded by recipts from poundland while promising never to reveal the location of where David hid the bodies of the Gametek executives.
You are then flogged with a slightly damp I backed ED T-shirt, and presented with a Sparkly Banhammer of Doom and invite to "Get the Hell out and don't come back you weirdo."
Quite simple really.
Oh, if Michael asks where I am you haven't see me right.
(The forum may be a bit quiet this morning)
I'm picturing a hollowed-out volcano with some sort of extension on the side to accommodate all the new mods
Congratulations to both of you. Ian, I'm going to miss that mask of yours that had all those horrific images on it.