Personally, I'm not sure I've seen anyone saying the forum shouldn't be policed. The issue for me, and others clearly, is the lack of clarity and/or consistency in the arbitration. Same goes for the filter. Bum, butt, ass, , booty, patootie, tush, . I still find it funny that the redacted one in that list is the British synonym for backside - hearse minus the 'he'. This forum's filter is prejudiced against us Brits, even funnier when you consider how many us buggers are on here.
EDIT: Oh, look ' ' is fine. How about sodomise?
EDIT: I give up! 'Buggers' is fine, but singular? NOPE.
PS. Can someone ask the filter if it would like a copy of the OED? Seriously though. I get tired of guessing. Where's the filter list, so we know what to avoid. It's especially galling given how mature and friendly this forum is. Nef's point about GTA is more than spot on. (Would rep you Nef, but I'm all out)
To address your two points.
1) Yes, there is sometimes inconsistency in moderation. We all have our own interpretation of things, even the rules. FD could tighten the rules up, write pages and pages, at which point, nobody would ever read the rules (except forum rules lawyers looking for loopholes) because they would be impossible to always keep in mind. So we have best effort guidelines. How we work most of the time is when we are not sure about something, we consult with each other, and if necessary, escalate to a community manager (usually Brett or Zac) for guidance. It works well most of the time. Sometimes we get it wrong, sometimes we can't consult with a community manager or even another mod, because of timezones or people being busy, and something warrant immediate action. But that's usually then handled by Brett later, who reviews what action was taken and determines if it was appropriate or not. Where necessary, he can reverse any punishment given. Then he will advise the moderator in question about where they went wrong.
2) The swear filter is an annoying but useful beastie. Not long ago we reviewed it, and mods could submit words they thought should be blocked. Naturally, we can't catch all, and sometimes unintended words get blocked (which i first joined the forums, flaps was a banned word, because it has a naughty meaning, but then it being banned made it hard to talk about certain aspects of aviation). So again, its a best efforts thing. If you see some words getting through that you think should be added to the filter, PM Brett about it or post about it in the forum feedback forum. Same goes for if you see a word that you think shouldn't be blocked.
Both elements are best effort things, where we aim for consistency, but there will be mistakes. What you can do as a regular user is report things when you think there has been a mistake. The only issue with this is, there is often a lot of chaff. Just like if you go into a prison, and ask the prisoners what they did, they will all answer they did nothing, they are innocent.