General / Off-Topic Okay, I'm going to be straight with you.

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Manticore

Manticore
Spacebaboy said:
But accidentally, you're going to and she's going to hurt you too. It's sadly part of the package, which I'm sure you know! You're not going to get it right. Nope. Forget that. You're going to screw up small bits of it, big bits of it, who knows. You will. She will.

Surely if she accidentally hurt you, you would forgive her. So you must respect her to have the power to do the same? ​

IMO forgiveness is the most important lesson, maybe the only real lesson (which I'm shocking at learning) and a relationship teaches that in spades.

A relationship does not teach perfection or being bullet-proof. If you can do a relationship without hurt, please come and tell me. I'll write it all down and sell it for millions.

If you are not in the place to have a relationship, there is nothing wrong with not having one and doing your own thing. Clearly what you did 3 years ago was incredibly mature.

I apologise if I'm droning on. Whoever she is, I think she's lucky to have such a caring person in her life.
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No need to apologise, that was well said. Great advice and very astute.

The OP should take note.....
 

Deleted member 110222

D
I have been reading all you guy's words carefully.

I'm really starting to think that perhaps the best way to do things is just be straight with her.

A simple "I really like you. If that's too much, don't worry, just let me know and I'll work on moving on. However even as just a friend you are always going to be a very important part of my life."

I don't know. Probably sounds dumb.
 

Arry

Arry
Un1k0rn said:
I have been reading all you guy's words carefully.

I'm really starting to think that perhaps the best way to do things is just be straight with her.

A simple "I really like you. If that's too much, don't worry, just let me know and I'll work on moving on. However even as just a friend you are always going to be a very important part of my life."

I don't know. Probably sounds dumb.
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Maybe; or. Sitting at the dinner table for Sunday roast, around her mums place and just casually start the conversation. "I had a dream about us the other night. I remember it was very hot and we were naked and there was lots and lots of honey and I never realised before, that you have three........." That should sort things.
 
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Deleted member 110222

D
Arry said:
Maybe; or. Sitting at the dinner table for Sunday roast, around her mums place and just casually start the conversation. "I had a dream about us the other night. I remember it was very hot and we were naked and there was lots and lots of honey and I never realised before, that you have three........." That should sort things.
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I'm not sure how to respond to that lol.
 

Pyrotiger

Pyrotiger
Un1k0rn said:
A simple "I really like you. If that's too much, don't worry, just let me know and I'll work on moving on. However even as just a friend you are always going to be a very important part of my life."

I don't know. Probably sounds dumb.
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Who cares :D . It ain't what you say it's the way that you say it. There are no magic words. The magic is you. Ommmmmmmmmm.

Arry said:
Maybe; or. Sitting at the dinner table for Sunday roast, around her mums place and just casually start the conversation. "I had a dream about us the other night. I remember it was very hot and we were naked and there was lots and lots of honey and I never realised before, that you have three ." That should sort things.
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I immediately retract the assertion I made above. Arry has used the exact words in order to achieve a permanent, stable relationship with his right hand/hoof/trotter... :D

Incidentally, in the last ten minutes I've sliced open my thumb on the sharp lid of a tin of spam. And I hate spam. I think this is Divine Intervention telling me to . Best wishes, OP.
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Deleted member 110222

D
Arry said:
Let nature take its course. You can plan for hours what you might say at such times and still find yourself mumbling, at the moment of truth.
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True. Thanks guys. I do feel like I'm making progress in being able to say what I want to say, but I don't think I've ever faced such a daunting challenge! Especially given my poor social skills... XD
 

Arry

Arry
Hell Razor5543 said:
Social skills? As I have said to you earlier, the books by Desmond Morris can help you here. Visit the library, when you can.
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You mentioned the dreaded word 'book'. I have read a lot of Desmond Morris works and have to say, it helped me sort myself out and understand more about who I am etc.. Yes, most of his works, are pages and pages of writing, however: I would say the ones you are referring to, are the larger hard backs, full of illustrations and much easier to take in. Body watching I think is one, although the Human Zoo and the Naked Ape, are very informative and really easy to read.
 

Deleted member 110222

D
Hell Razor5543 said:
Social skills? As I have said to you earlier, the books by Desmond Morris can help you here. Visit the library, when you can.
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I know. It's just rather frustrating that I can enact things in my imagination like any other person...

But when I try to do anything for real I just hit a brick wall.
 

Deleted member 110222

D
I knew T.j would be the answer. :D

/jk

No I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do.

You know what I think might be a problem? When I'm stable, as I have been for a while now, mostly, I'm TOO polite. And I hate feeling like I'm interjecting on other people's lives.
 

Hell Razor5543

H
Un1k0rn said:
I knew T.j would be the answer. :D

/jk

No I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do.

You know what I think might be a problem? When I'm stable, as I have been for a while now, mostly, I'm TOO polite. And I hate feeling like I'm interjecting on other people's lives.
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TOO polite is rarely a problem. IMPOLITE is usually a problem. Given the choice, I know which I try to be.
 

Deleted member 115407

D
Should we call this chick "The Girl with the Dragon Stat-ue"?

(Get it? The girl with the Dra... erm..)

Anyway. If it's the same chick, Un1, she knows. You don't just drop a dragon statue on a chick without her knowing. You should just go with it and ask her if she wants to "go out on a date".

If you wussy-foot around and pretend to be "just friends", you're going to waste time and she may lose respect and interest.

She either wants you to boost that anaconda through the mail slot or she doesn't. There's only one way to find out.

Just remember, when you express your interest, it's cool to be nervous, it's cool to be a little self-concious, but it's not cool to apologize for your interest or make her into something more than she is. She's just a chick, dude. She poops brown just like everybody else.
 

Deleted member 115407

D
MottiKhan said:
Tell her how you feel. It might be a shock to her or a relief if she feels the same. The only regret you could have is to pass up a chance like this.

It'll take some courage, but the risk is worth it.
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Motti is right on target here. I've had the fortune to date lots of women when I was just cool and confident and straightforward. I've also had the misfortune to miss out on dates with a lot of women when I second-guessed myself. Plenty of girls I think back on and could smack myself for not taking the chance.

P.S. As much as I respect some of the other respondents, don't just hang back and wait to see what she does. Your job, as the man, is to initiate the romance. The two of you will figure out how to take it from there.
 
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