General / Off-Topic [Girlfriend Trouble] Whoops!

Iskariot

Iskariot
CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
Oddly enough, I prefer to be alone. And so does she.
But when we're not fighting over silly things like games, or my farting habits, we actually get on quite well, laugh all the time, and generally insult everyone and everything together.

Still, I often wonder how nice it would be to live totally alone. :D
And so does she. And we tell eachother this. Lol
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But if she also enjoys being alone, why does she want to take gaming away from you? I'd think she would be glad you have a hobby.

Do you game excessively, at strange hours, and at times she would want to do something together with you?
Then negotiate a compromise.
Why shouldn't you be allowed to game if she is not even at home?

Allowing her to ban gaming completely out of your life is bad for the relationship in the long run.
 

starman

starman
CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
7 years!?


"We're having trouble, should be break up, or sort it?"
"God no, let's just swap wives for SEVEN FRIKKIN YEARS.... And broadcast it!"
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Actually its 2 weeks.

There is some logic to maintaining a relationship by having separate living arrangements different bathrooms etc. Keeps the mystery.
 
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FrankMurphy

FrankMurphy
Hi, I would offer to stop playing games if she stops watching tv, in absolute. Offer a common ground, help her to study for her JAA/EASA CPL ground school, that in itself is months of work for the 9 exams.

Also I cannot recommend strongly enough to not teach her how to drive, there is a power imbalance within your relationship, your self worth is different to how she see's hers and this will only be a catalyst to confrontation, in a moving object with too many variables.

Be honest, sit down and ask her what her heart tells her and what her head tells her and then tell her your version to balance. I moved across the country to be with someone similar, who would do nothing but tv, cat and laundry only when she needed oxygen to climb over the pile. I left after and am all the happier for it.

To quote an 'old' friend... 'That warm wet hole has been the downfall of many a man'

There is always tomorrow but you can't go back to yesterday. Her insistence on you getting another job, stop gaming is more a reflection on her wanting more from a partner than you offer. This change has either come from friends or family or self realization that she wants more. Either way you will not win without significant personal loss, some might be for the better, but it will be to the detriment of character that initially she was attracted to.

Good luck and don't get angry.
 

Ian Skippy

Ian Skippy
Iskariot said:
But if she also enjoys being alone, why does she want to take gaming away from you? I'd think she would be glad you have a hobby.

Do you game excessively, at strange hours, and at times she would want to do something together with you?
Then negotiate a compromise.
Why shouldn't you be allowed to game if she is not even at home?

Allowing her to ban gaming completely out of your life is bad for the relationship in the long run.
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He explained later in the topic: apparantly he had a habit of overdoing gaming a bit, and she wants him to focus on getting stuff done like a job and fears gaming may distract heavily. Which he conceded was all in all not that unfair a point.
 

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
starman said:
Actually its 2 weeks.

There is some logic to maintaining a relationship by having separate living arrangements different bathrooms etc. Keeps the mystery.
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That makes sense.
When both my girlfriend and I wasn't too well, I slept on the sofa, and she slept in bed, so our constant coughing didn't keep eachother awake.

We both actually slept better than normal, and carried on for a while after we got better.
She also likes the house much warmer than I do, so sleeping downstairs where it's cooler is nice... :p

It also didn't help that our new sofa is more comfortable than the really old bed, so I wanted to stay down there for that too. :D

Also, I didn't play games at all today (my day off alone).
I spent most of it editing my third video. Then recovering my third video after Lightworks broke it. :D
It was very productive... Sort of!
 

lysan

lysan
Stigbob said:
Mrs Stigbob appreciates me gaming as it stops me sitting on the sofa incessantly complaining about the shallow and brainless things she likes to watch on TV, the only programs we ever agree on have David Attenborough presenting them.

Many years ago she did have a moan about me gaming, but stopped after I pointed out I play games much less than she watches telly.

Are you sure games are actually the problem or could it be an "I'm in charge" thing ?.
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my wife never complains, and i know I need to divide the attention, sometimes she even tells me to go play my little games, because i'm annoying :D
However we can't tell you what to do, you're in command here, you know what it will be like, the question is more if you can live with it, whatever you decide?
 

VR Jay Le Chardon

VR Jay Le Chardon
Really, if shes that manipulative kick her to the kerb. Were you to put such ultimatums to her it would count as domestic abuse, so why should you put up with her abusing you.
 

Hell Razor5543

H
My cousin doesn't do ultimatums. Some years back a married couple who were his friends divorced. He remained friends with them both, and remained neutral. Then she gave him the ultimatum that he could only be friends with one of them. His response was along the lines of "Well, it was nice knowing you".

Some years later she has re-joined the fold of his friends (although the friendship can never be how it was in the past), and she actually respects him for his attitude.
 

Komemiute

Komemiute
CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
That makes sense.
When both my girlfriend and I wasn't too well, I slept on the sofa, and she slept in bed, so our constant coughing didn't keep eachother awake.

We both actually slept better than normal, and carried on for a while after we got better.
She also likes the house much warmer than I do, so sleeping downstairs where it's cooler is nice... :p

It also didn't help that our new sofa is more comfortable than the really old bed, so I wanted to stay down there for that too. :D

Also, I didn't play games at all today (my day off alone).
I spent most of it editing my third video. Then recovering my third video after Lightworks broke it. :D
It was very productive... Sort of!
Click to expand...

Well, as they say, proof is in the pudding. Show us this pudding of yours. Both of you in a selfie is acceptable, we're gentlemen and just care for you both.
 

Rob At Work

R
Mrs Rob appreciates my time spent on my Flight Sim as she says I could land the plane if we were to get into trouble when going on holiday. Nothing to do with my encouragement of this theory - Elite is like an advanced Flight Sim (I say).
 

[VR] scipio_77

[VR] scipio_77
If you are hiding 1000 hours of your hobby, it isn't a healthy relationship. And that point is true regardless of "side".

I don't think she is fair in demanding you give up gaming, but I don't you are being fair when making promises and hiding your quite substantial gaming behind her back either.

I'd say either you two should talk it out and get some compromise going, or you should probably not be together. That doesn't mean that either of you are a bad person, but not all people are healthy for each-other even if they are decent people.
 
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