General / Off-Topic [Girlfriend Trouble] Whoops!

EdzUp

EdzUp
OP the way you explain your girlfriend in the first posts doesn't come across as a girlfriend more of a jailer. She knew you were into games and forcing you to change that is only the beginning after that what's next?

She just wants total control and if you are he'll bent on continuing with her stand up to her and tell her your going to play your games when she's not around and if she don't like it tuff, it doesn't hurt her at all so it shouldn't be a problem.

Never be controlled to the point you have to change something which you enjoy and doesn't harm anyone.
 
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Zenith

Zenith
I played Ingress intensely for most of 2.5 years. I was out of the house, going places all over Britain and meeting with people I'd met online. I was given an ultimatum by my wife. Please stop or you risk losing your family.
I didn't want to, but I stopped and have stayed stopped. Now I truly understand addiction, because I compare my gaming addiction to alcoholism. I'm always on the wagon, trying hard not to go back to my old ways. I'm not alcoholic, but I understand the craving and desire to go back.

I've been playing Elite more than 3 years. Where Ingress was my heroin, ED is my methadone. My wife accepts that I have an addiction to gaming, but is grateful that I gave up something that was important to me, and I'm actually there at home and in the room instead of being out of the house. She brings me coffee while I'm playing, and let's me know when I'm closing in on myself too much.

There is my similarity to the OP. The difference is in communication and expectations. My wife and I talk with each other and don't let grumbles fester.
OP, in the first instance you and your girlfriend need to talk frankly and openly about what what both of you are doing, what you both expect, and what you both are willing to work towards. You clearly need your gaming time, but your girlfriend's previous ultimatums have made you secretive and try to hide it away. There are 2 questions that need honest answers from both of you...
1) Gaming is important to you. Why is your girlfriend so against it?
2) Are you BOTH willing to compromise? Will you agree to limiting your screen time if she agrees to stop issuing ultimatums?
If you're not willing to reduce your screen time or she isn't willing to back down on the ultimatum, then admit to yourself that it isn't going to work out and start making arrangements to move out.

Only you can decide if your girlfriend is more important to you than your gaming.
 
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SMcA

SMcA
CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
Tried to get used to watching boring TV. Didn't work. Brain needs stimulation!
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I've not watched TV for years and your post made me realise that I stopped watching it not long after I got access to the Beta. The only exception was after I had an operation and could not use my arms properly for a while. All I could bear to watch was programmes like HIGNFY.
As for your troubles. No addvice other than it is a bad idea to live a lie.
I hope you get it sorted out to your satisfaction. Good luck.
 

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
I have a long term strategy to gradually win her over to allow me to game.

Basically, I'm going to annoy her.

So far, it's not going so well. Lol

Just kidding, I've gotten her from "games are for kids and phedophiles" to "you can play when you achieve something in real life". Getting there!
Been biding my time, and I waited until she was exposed to other gamers. Her best friend's boyfriend is a big gamer, even more than me.
She doesn't consider him weird or childish or a phedophile.
And I tell her about people at work who play games, so it's not some weird nerdy thing we do in our parents basement anymore.
I keep hinting at how mainstream gaming is now. There's even eSports.
Companies worth Multi-Billions.

Slowly getting there. She'll learn!
 

Rob At Work

R
I think she has a point to be honest.

Perhaps you could get her to talk to us, so we can hear her side of the story.

I think the naughty step, beckons for you, me Lad!
 
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Sir.Tj

The Moderator who shall not be Blamed....
Volunteer Moderator
Sir.Tj
I'd consider opening a support ticket myself... :p
 
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Deleted member 115407

D
CMDR_Cosmicspacehead said:
So I am allowed to play games, but I just have to sort my life out first. Which is fair really. :D
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See, that's why I was on her side from the get-go. I knew there was a rational explanation and solution. :p

Did you guys seal the new deal, btw?
 
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Stigbob

Stigbob
Just one question, whilst telling you that you must improve yourself is she sitting on her behind watching Richard and Judy all day ?.
 

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead

CMDR Cosmic Spacehead
Stigbob said:
Just one question, whilst telling you that you must improve yourself is she sitting on her behind watching Richard and Judy all day ?.
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Sometimes. She does love Netflix, and our cat. Lol
I can't argue, she does more than I do. She goes to the gym (I don't), works full time (same as me, but earns more... Lol), I'm about to start teaching her to drive (DOOOOOOOM!), and once she can drive, she's going to carry on earning her private pilots license, to hopefully one day become a professional pilot. (Oh the joy when she had to do simulator training! Playing games again dear? :p )
And I still have no idea what I want to do. :p

I'll figure it out. Probably by the time I'm 93... :D
 

[VR] optimal_909

[VR] optimal_909
Stigbob said:
Mrs Stigbob appreciates me gaming as it stops me sitting on the sofa incessantly complaining about the shallow and brainless things she likes to watch on TV, the only programs we ever agree on have David Attenborough presenting them.

Many years ago she did have a moan about me gaming, but stopped after I pointed out I play games much less than she watches telly.

Are you sure games are actually the problem or could it be an "I'm in charge" thing ?.
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Same here, as I hate most of these series with a passion, especially those newer ones without Crown Vics. :) However, since I'm gaming in the living room, we can still chat - giving up a bit of immersion in exchange
for accepting gaming goes a long way.

I can't believe how common it is, that binge watching 'together' series is okay, but gaming isn't... most of my friends are affected. As long as manly pastimes go, gaming should be one of the most preferred - we are not sitting in the pub or being away with friends, not spending a fortune on cars, not speeding on motorbikes, we are not gambling and definitely not chasing other women.
OP's girlfriend should be happy!
 

Pyrotiger

Pyrotiger
vindelanos said:
BTW, admitting that your significant other is "excellent at emotional blackmail" is admitting that your significant other is a selfish manipulative piece of .
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This.

It seems your greatest reservation is the inconvenience of not being together - having to go to parents, etc. Nothing about loving her and missing her etc. Which surely should be the deciding factor.

I am so lucky that my wife isn't like this. I was with someone for years who was a bit like this - mind you I did play a lot of games, leaving her a bit exasperated!

I'm going to ask my wife what she thinks OP should do.

Well, if you play while she's not around then it shouldn't be her problem. Otherwise it's over-controlling. I think it's OPs fault for lying in the first place! He should have made a deal to play less or when not around. Now I suggest going for a balance.
 
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jasonbarron

jasonbarron
It doesn't sound like you two have a very good relationship, or much going on besides convenience. You both need to reach higher in your lives, and not just because of a disagreement over video games.
 
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