But griefing, ganking etc. is very much PVP. Every time I tried to argue that attacking an unarmed ship is not PVP, every single PVP player I discussed the given topic with was trying to convince me that it is still PVP. So isn't it a bit hypocritical to have double standards and perceive ganking as PVP in the gameplay context, but not-PVP in forums context?
I think you found partial root cause of the problem.
Moderators and not a "PVE" clique. I for one don't care for PVE or PVP. I just play the game and couldn't care less whether someone puts themselves in a drawer labelled "PVE" or "PVP". Same thing with the forums. I come here to discuss the game and I regardless of who I am talking to, I always just express my opinion. So it happens that most of the times it at a difference with players that enjoy PVP.
Also, maybe if everyone stopped labelling other people, which is a disgusting feat, things would get better?