It is fantastically easy to put yourself in another person's shoes and see their point of view as well. Something I recall you lecturing others on just yesterday...
They made a mistake. I have made mistakes. You can either accept you made a mistake or not.
The title of the thread contains the first mistake made by OP, more were made after that.
If I put myself in OP’s shoes I do this:
Understand the police in a system are not there to defend my Carrier. That was a mistake I made.
Understand that flying into a system that sees me as hostile is going to get people shooting at me, whether I’m near the Carrier or not.
Understand that any fire, friendly or not, that comes from my ship, that lands on that Carrier, will be met with retaliation. That was a misunderstanding I had. I mistakingly believed it was fine.
I made 3 mistakes.
What now?