Community Event / Creation Abraka Drabble The Old Official Drabble THIS IS AN EX THREAD IT IS DEADED

[Philip Coutts]

Listen to Mother

“It was a bargain” he whined

“You’re a complete fool” hissed Sarah, “Didn’t your Mother ever tell you that if something seems too good to be true it generally is?”

“It all seemed legitimate and above board, I knew the accommodation would be basic, but I never expected this…” he looked mournfully around at the packed, stinking space and vomited. The air was filled with a mixture of screams and the smell of burning flesh.

A guard manhandled him and strapped his arm down, the laser burnt the slavers symbol into his skin and his life as number P94 began.

 

[W4rSkuLL]

Click or clack?

This was a huge mess. The Trumbles had devoured his meat cargo of Imperial Steaks. They multiplied like rabbits, and he was next on the menu. He needed to bargain his way out of this. There were primitive ways to communicate with the carnivorous *******s with clicking sounds. It was worth a try. "Click, clickety clack", Bones looked anxiously towards the entrance door of the cockpit. "Click, clack" returned. The cockpit door buckled with pressure. Suddenly, pointy teeth Trumbles swarmed over Bones. He had successful translated in trumblic. "Please, eat me!" A feast later, skeleton jaws closed with a "clack".

 

[Darren Grey]

Deal of the Day

Michal was sweating. Nervous tension was taking over as he realised his mistake.

"Totally illegal? Even just selling them?"

Elsia nodded, a teasing glint in her eyes. "You could get 20 years just for having them in your hold. Why didn't you check the slavery laws here before jumping?"

"Well, I just assumed, I... Oh God, will I get caught?"

Elsia gave the trader a piteous look. "Don’t worry, I can smooth things out... for a small fee."

An hour later Michal jumped out with an empty hold, and a new sign appeared on the bulletins. "Fresh fertiliser – bargain prices."

 

[Ian Phillips]

1 ton of rubbish

'Nooooooo!

How many?

You got a ton canister full of them? You bloody idiot. We will NEVER get rid of them.

Gaaahh, why did I ever team up with you?'

'But - it was a bargain. They were all the rage at Barnard’s Star.'

'Right, and Barnard’s Star is the hub of all things tasteful in this universe?
We could always hope to get ambushed by pirates, then we could dump a ton of audio entertainments discs and run for it.
OK. Plot a course for Slough, they aren’t all that fussy there.

Space.
One ton of Susan Boils CD’s.
Idiot!’

 

[Rog]

Bah!

You're all off to a flying start, and I've still got a blank sheet of paper with all my pens lined up and staring out the window.

Nice bunch of drabbles so far.

 

[Winterwalker]

Congratulations to the last winner .. scratches chinny chin chin ...

BARGAIN HUNT

"Available, ak every shingle sutatshun, in the shecthor .."

"Sure they are, but check the quality, best hallmarks, check the book"

" ... down know, sheen better"

"Where else would you get them at this, low low price?"

"Sho wear did you geck them, ure they are, ffar bee-lo marketh"

"Never YOU mind, this is a one time offer"

"O loook welll, dun no, 'argo's full, preshus metalss"

"And that's what I want .. in return"

"NO weigh! .. noth even clowse, jussed not worthfit, yure a pirath"

"MISSILES: ARMED"

"Yew no .. thay ddoo seem lyyk .. a bargin"

 

[Frank]

Cost Price

Are you strapped for cash? Do you need a new shield generator? Then come to Bernie's Budget Shields, where quality is cheaper. Our warp membrane generators use tried and tested technology. They are better than the leading brand generators.

- they require less power

- they re-establish themselves faster

- they're much cheaper

- they're almost as strong

Come to Bernie's Budget Shields at Barnard's Star. We have a wide range of shields to fit all pockets, from budget to really incredibly tight budget

We pride ourselves in our workmanship. In all the years we've been open, we have never had a customer complaint.

 

[psykokow]

Deal of Your Life!

*Incoming Hail*

"Sidewinder vessel designated KowPat, we have the bargain of a lifetime for you... jettison all your cargo and we'll let you live"

"What? Thats not a bargain... that's ROBBERY..." Agent P screamed...

"Well, OK keep 1 cannister, we're not monsters.. but we don't have all day"

"Ok hold on, hold on"

Agent P fired his dual gimballed beam lasers until the Cobra's shields gave way. Using downward thrusters the sidewinder swung round destroying the pirates life support unit.

"Now about that offer? Say I keep my cargo.. and you jettison yours?”
“Sorry, right away”
“Now that’s a bargain”

 

[Ian Phillips]

For those that can't get enough of drabbling here is something extra.

 

[Darkoba]

Gain for the Bar?

"Can I interest you in a batch of Smilovnia, Sven?"

"Whassat?"

"New brew. Five C a bottle, fifteen shots at C3. Nine-hundred-percent profit."

"Gotta test it first."

"Sure." Spivalot passed over a bottle. Sven turned to Frank.

"Try something new, Frank? On the house?"

"Sure."

Sven filled Frank's glass.
Frank sipped, then downed it in one. He paused.

"Well?"

"Nosshur. nuther'n."

Sven poured, Frank drank.

"Well?"

"Nuther."

"Well?"

"Why'm I ou'side?" Frank looked around, puzzled. He stood up and lurched toward the door.

"Where you goin'?" Sven asked.

Frank frowned, thinking... then grinned.

"'m goin' back into th' bar 'gain."

 

[Frank]

D'ya think Sven wud let me tastes drinks fer him? He knows I'd be sayin' I be needin' another drink's ta tell fer shure if it's okay. And another drink after that an' all ta be shure.

 

[Darkoba]

D'ya think Sven wud let me tastes drinks fer him? He knows I'd be sayin' I be needin' another drink's ta tell fer shure if it's okay. And another drink after that an' all ta be shure.

I'll talk to'm an' purrin a word fer ye

 

[Yaffle]

Damnation

Fa laughed; he was at his zenith. Pulling away from Gretchen the pleasure slave he roared, standing cruciform. The words Homo, fuge! glistened on his forearm. She curled at his feet, recoiling from the memory of what had passed. Her family lost, her honour destroyed. Shaking, naked, cold she began to weep uncontrollably.
He kicked her aside, and roared again. Twenty four years to the day, and he had lived, truly lived every second of them. He discarded his clothes and possessions, returning to the hangar.
His ship, Mephistophilis, contacted control. “Mr Ust requires clearance. Destination, Sirius System. Planet Lucifer.”

 

[Darkoba]

That is very clever, Yaffle. I had to read it several times, but it all ties together beautifully, and not one mention of the word "bargain"... but it's there, Fa Ust, Mephistopheles, etc. Nice one. ... if a little scary.

 

[Yaffle]

It was either the Ultimate Bargain, or a petulant sheep being told not to baa again. I was going to work Phil Drabble into the latter, if I could make it work in the Elite Universe. Maybe next time.

 

[Ian Phillips]

And here is a version that psykokow edited together (and it's much better )

 

[Darkoba]

Wednesday's nearly done, despite us having passed the Spring Equinox, and there is a dearth of drabbles (that's not a new collective noun - it's a moan... no, that's not a new collective noun either... Oh, I'll stop while I'm ahead)

WE WANT MORE DRABBLES!

 

[Minti2]

Just a small infraction

The wealthy right reverend Torquemada and his wife were devoted Federalists

Preaching, spreading the gospel among the destitute, the impure,
those who lacked the faith of their good and just society

Those unfortunates that although poor should rejoice of the Federations generosity in letting them work in the jobs no one else wanted

The couple lacked only one thing to make their life's complete, children

Then an opportunity, orphaned children, an illegal sale, just a small infraction of Federation rules

Yes the children Marlin and her brother Henson Duval would grow up to be a worthy bargain with the devil

 

[Darren Grey]

Ooooh! Very nice one there, Lone Gunman

 

[Minti2]

Ooooh! Very nice one there, Lone Gunman

Thank-you

I have to say from reading the other Bargain drabbles there's some outstanding good ones in there, i have one definite, but having trouble choosing the other two.....assuming there's no other entries of course!

Good theme Frank.