General / Off-Topic Best Joke

Si Waters · Mar 29, 2015

What did he pirate say when he turned 80?

Arrgh Matey

MarkMSG · Mar 29, 2015

I met a pretty homeless girl the other day and I asked her if I could take her home, to which she replied YES but you should have seen her face when I walked off with her cardboard box

Mysturji · Mar 29, 2015

CMDR Mysturji
Exploration: Ranger
Trading: Broker
Combat: Mostly Harmless
I own a Cobra, an Asp, a Viper and a Lakon 7, with many millions in the bank.
Your point?

Q: What's orange and weighs 200 kilos?
A: A satsumo wrestler

DMLeeroy · Mar 29, 2015

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

Tryst · Mar 30, 2015

Si Waters said:
What did he pirate say when he turned 80?

Arrgh Matey

Probably works better spoken than it does when written.

jockmcplop · Mar 30, 2015

https://www.youtube.com/user/OldJewsTellingJokes

There you will find a collection of the finest jokes known to man, far to perfect too be ruined by cold, dead forum text.

hanks01 · Mar 30, 2015

What do you get if you cross a labrador with a rottweiler? A dog that makes you poop yourself then runs away with the toilet paper.

Dr. Dave Bowman · Mar 30, 2015

what did the cmdr say as he flew into Uranus... "what no ky?"

Rall · Mar 30, 2015

GJ51 said:
VULTURE
CMDR *****
NOVICE
CLEAN

Says it all...

And, yes - actually observed in Open Play

I fly an un-armed T9 currently and I'm Dangerous - what's your point? People like playing games differantly from each other?

Whiterose · Mar 30, 2015

In response to the OP "What is your point?" that everbody who plays this game has to be elite in combat??? Its like stealing from multi-storey car parks, wrong on so many levels.

CMDR B. Schmidt · Mar 30, 2015

Dr Roly said:
Best I could do at short notice.

Han Solo:

View attachment 25233

Han Open:

View attachment 25234

Hahaha! One of the best posts I've ever read, well done!

Lupin · Mar 30, 2015

GJ51 said:
VULTURE
CMDR *****
NOVICE
CLEAN

Says it all...

And, yes - actually observed in Open Play

That could have been me on my way to Lugh (2 weeks ago). Decided to spend the money and get a combat only ship to find war over in Lugh

As I mostly trade and explore and only just got "Competent" about a week ago after playing from November release.

Komemiute · Mar 30, 2015

merlin851526 said:
Your post says more about you really.

*Zzzing*

+1.

Angus · Mar 30, 2015

gravedodger said:
Thread fails to deliver .... I was promised a joke ???

Even a 'knock, knock' joke would do.

Okay........... very weak, but slightly topical.

Death: Knock, knock

Occupant: Who's there

Death: (Kicks in door and brandishes scythe) Cower and pray!

Occupant: BRILLIANT, I've been looking forward to this, you are very welcome!

Death: Eh... Hmmmmmm.... people are usually less enthusiastic to meet me

Occupant: Oh sorry, my mistake - I thought you said "Powerplay."

OnePercent · Mar 30, 2015

Started from the bottom now we here

markzed · Mar 30, 2015

A teenage boy rings the police emergency number.

"What's your emergency?"

"Two girls are fighting over me!"

"Why is THAT an emergency???"

"The ugly one is winning"

doombadger · Mar 30, 2015

I've read this thread and racked my brains for a response.

I've just realised I don't know a single joke that's suitable for this forum.

I am a bad, bad man.

Alpha087 · Mar 30, 2015

Leoben Capa said:
assassination missions (pretty good money as long as they don't bug out)

I found the true joke in this thread.

uberdude · Mar 31, 2015

WWFMA do?

What Would FullMetal Alchemist do?

We need these wristbands immediately. There are lost souls in the world wondering what the right question is and they need a flimsy rubber band around their wrist to tell them!

What's that? this has nothing to do with the topic of the thread? You don't know that! Check again1!one!!

Surfinjo · Apr 2, 2015

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