Agreed with OP...Sometimes I feel like Elite Dangerous is more like a job more than a game. (and this is not good, you come home from work and just want to play a game, and not do another routine after another routine)
The basic idea of having to repeat on and on what you have to do to accomplish something, is what makes it "monotone" (instead of repetitive, because all games are repetitive). Even by having so many options or "ways to play", once you start to do anything it all feels like a non stop routine.
Lately I play for a couple or so days a week and my playtime for each session last for maybe 1 up to 2 hours, but basically until I start to yawn...literally.
I love the game, the physics, the sounds, graphics, the massive mind-blowing detailed open world, the ideas behind it and the lore too. (and to think what it will come in the future...)
Now there is a problem with Engineers (aside from the rest of the game), and it is the way you have to grind by searching materials for hours (with also some luck...yeah LUCK) for then having to go back and finally get a somehow "random" upgrade. For me this is like the game is saying "yeah, your hard work is not enough...keep trying and come later, or just deal with it".
That is something that is getting on my nerves...If you tell me to do something to get an upgrade, give me the actual upgrade, not just a random stat (it all feels like a jackpot machine). There is enough randomness all around an entire planet when I'm searching for those materials, to then go back and get some percentage or a "chance" of getting the best upgrade.
In the end I have a minimal chance to get the material in that particular planet (going around for hours), then I have a chance to get a certain % of an upgrade. That is not an upgrade in my book.
This game doesn't have any respect for your real time, some balance is needed for sure. Features or some of them in the game, sure were meant to keep players playing, it sure that could work for some but not for others. It all depends in how you balance them or as in this case...how you reward the player.
OP was right when he basically said the "they should take a week or so and play the game they are building".
For me the game is good, it needs more gameplay related elements than features (I guess some of you can imagine what I mean: a war against Thargoids, walking on ships, planets and stations with some shooting, less lore reading and more action, etc) less grinding and more enjoyment for your actions. Enhance what is good, add what is needed, balance what is already there, and reward the player. No more no less.
Great post OP.