I have to say that you've shown immeasurable strength opening up on here. That's the first step. A doctor is your next step. Please do that today, just a quick call. I'll be back later. Offer to chat still stands
General / Off-Topic I am currently suffering a major low point, and I don't know what to do.
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I have to say that you've shown immeasurable strength opening up on here. That's the first step. A doctor is your next step. Please do that today, just a quick call. I'll be back later. Offer to chat still stands
Are you sure you're not idealising relationships a little? What you are asking for is gold dust. And say you get it - what then? What will you want next?
Ever watch Kool Runnings and see the bit about the Olympic medals lol. I won't print the quote. It's cheesy but true.
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Yaffle
Volunteer Moderator
Please seek help, your GP is a good place to start. At this stage of the week that will be difficult, but head here - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/#.VICItWSsXDN
They also have a helpline - 0300 123 3393 which is also working hours only.
There is a link at the top of the page to follow for urgent help - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/#
I like this
Perceptions are based on the senses. As anyone who has had a breakdown or partaken in mushrooms of a magic nature will tell you, perceptions can be fooled. It probably happens more often to ourselves than we are comfortable admitting to ourselves. Apologies if I'm getting too 'art school' here.
The perception of colors according to the brightness is a good example of appearance. For our personnal environment it is the same thing
Deleted member 110222
D
I will. But I'm worried that I'll just get dismissed as a lonely sod.
And last I checked the NHS isn't a dating service, which with all due respect, is what I need right now.
One only has to use a bit of basic logic that the solution to loneliness, is to no longer be alone. But if nobody wants to be around me... Then I'm in a rut.
Minonian
Banned
Yeah...
Well, this is where you getting wrong. Love is not about intellectual relationship. This is not how you get in a girl heart. It can be a part of it, but not the first thing to come. And i telly you why! Have a man ever laid a girls soul? OR does a girl ever gone to bed with a man's mind? Do you see my point? (and with this i think also took care of the ultra fenimists nonsense) What do you need to get a girls and love easily, is what's missing from us. Where we broken. The softer average human side, to get this right you need a lot of practice, and try, a lot of understanding and developing intimate emotional relationship with others What's be honest! It's just not our forte. You want to have a girl with smarts? This is what you desire, or this is love? The first maybe, but the second? Not so much...
+1 for this. Romanticism and hyper sensitivity are not the solution
Deleted member 110222
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I just want to clarify, I will be going to all the helplines, groups, whatever, that you guys have linked today.
I really appreciate your help, truly. I needed this today.
Right now I'll be honest. I think I'm in a life or death situation. I'm not trying to garner sympathy saying this, but I do genuinely feel like I'm going to do something stupid myself at the moment.
Looking for help now.
I really appreciate your help, truly. I needed this today.
Right now I'll be honest. I think I'm in a life or death situation. I'm not trying to garner sympathy saying this, but I do genuinely feel like I'm going to do something stupid myself at the moment.
Looking for help now.
Go see a doctor ASAP. If you're already on meds and/or therapy then you may need some changes there.
Been trying to think of something else helpful but I can't. I've suffered socially & with depression for as long as I remember, but getting therapy & medication for that really made a difference.
That is the most annoying thing ever. It's complete nonsense, and totally unhelpful.
Good luck dude. It will make a massive difference. [heart]
Been trying to think of something else helpful but I can't. I've suffered socially & with depression for as long as I remember, but getting therapy & medication for that really made a difference.
That is the most annoying thing ever. It's complete nonsense, and totally unhelpful.
Good luck dude. It will make a massive difference. [heart]
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Deleted member 110222
D
Yeah...
What do you need to get a girls and love easily, is what's missing from us. Where we broken. The softer average human side, to get this right you need a lot of practice, and try, a lot of understanding and developing intimate emotional relationship with others What's be honest! It's just not our forte. You want to have a girl with smarts? This is what you desire, or this is love? The first maybe, but the second? Not so much...
I just don't want to be alone. I just want what everyone else has. That's all.
I feel like my Asperger's is blocking this completely. Both because it ruins my social ability, and it drives people off in fear.
It arrives also that we think that it is the others who do not want of us, but often and unconsciously it is us who do not want to the others
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Minonian
Banned
I also know this wery well. The problem is you see? We are not like the others, in nature. What you can do, is try to blend in. But that's just off to our nature. What you need and have to do, to practice a lot of patience, and withold your darker side, try to do the things like them, in case of human interactions, instead trying to force our ways what's just not theirs.
Also? Keep in mind, to me to figure out this much took a half of a lifetime. You going to have a huge head start compared to me, but even in the best case? don't wait immediate success. Go over the road step by step.
TBH It may also be your depression working against you, as you often find that you're unconciously working against yourself. In this case it may be that you front-load any conversations with supposed problems, driving people away before you even get the chance.
Learning to manage will help.
Ahh, an intellectual relationship.
I find these very difficult to come by, as most people I meet are blithering idiots.
First off, you need to find a way to meet people on your level. Don't worry about anyone else, it's their problem if you're smarter than them, and they don't like it.
How you do this, is entirely up to you.
Go to an elite meet, or other convention you're interested in.
Or meet up with people from this very forum.
Online dating or friend finding.
Or, is there anyone at your job/college who shares an interest? What about old friends?
unicorn, don't frame yourself. we're all alone. all.
social interaction and even close personal relation are a basic need, but there are zillions of ways to get them, and there are no predetermined forms. there's some good advice in the thread, i can't think of more now (was never easy for me either) but on all of them the important thing is that you be open, daring and admitting the possibility of disappointment beforehand. and keep going and don't stress it. it may be a long road but don't for a second feel left behind: your friends aren't less alone than you, they just don't think about it that much because they have more ... distraction. so it's not that much about if or not you get anywhere, but how yo go about (like in elite).
since you mention specifically dates, and with respect and my best intentions ... if sex is obsessing you just get it sorted out first. there's professionals for every aspect of it, use them, talk/work it out, then approach your fellow females in your every day's life with a clean slate and not a single worry in your mind because that's how you approach friends!
all the best pal, i'm here for you too!
social interaction and even close personal relation are a basic need, but there are zillions of ways to get them, and there are no predetermined forms. there's some good advice in the thread, i can't think of more now (was never easy for me either) but on all of them the important thing is that you be open, daring and admitting the possibility of disappointment beforehand. and keep going and don't stress it. it may be a long road but don't for a second feel left behind: your friends aren't less alone than you, they just don't think about it that much because they have more ... distraction. so it's not that much about if or not you get anywhere, but how yo go about (like in elite
).since you mention specifically dates, and with respect and my best intentions ... if sex is obsessing you just get it sorted out first. there's professionals for every aspect of it, use them, talk/work it out, then approach your fellow females in your every day's life with a clean slate and not a single worry in your mind because that's how you approach friends!
all the best pal, i'm here for you too!
If that should occur, and it's very unlikely especially if you say that you are feeling depressed because of it, then you can always ask for a diagnosis from a different doctor.
Don't hold back, tell them what you're feeling and how it's affecting you. It's not about being weak or being a lonely sod, it's about depression.
The thing is, if you address the depression side of things it will increase the positivity of your outlook, which will in turn increase self-confidence which will then contribute to making you feel like you have more to offer and therefore more likely to appeal to somebody else.
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Deleted member 110222
D
Ahh, an intellectual relationship.
I find these very difficult to come by, as most people I meet are blithering idiots.
First off, you need to find a way to meet people on your level. Don't worry about anyone else, it's their problem if you're smarter than them, and they don't like it.
How you do this, is entirely up to you.
Go to an elite meet, or other convention you're interested in.
Or meet up with people from this very forum.
Online dating or friend finding.
Or, is there anyone at your job/college who shares an interest? What about old friends?
Work is something I'd love to do. But the bullying in my school and college years... Doctors put me on an indefinite sick note, because if the bullying happens at work... They seem to not want to put me in that situation.
Granted my sick note doesn't help my chances.
It's so bloody complicated, as I want to work, just so I have full independence. But the doctor is pretty much blocking that. And what if I did work, and it went wrong?
I just... Ergo, I hate my life. I can't stand myself. Everything that could go wrong, did.
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I tried being appealing. I was laughed off and it destroyed my self-esteem. I cannot win.
The won't tell you to go away as some sort of lonely sod. Depression is a legitimate medical condition, sometimes an emergency. There are an array of options that might be able to calm the storm that exists within you.
Once that is done, you will be able to properly sit down and work out how to get what it is you need.
As Zetta says, if you're helped to find some mental peace that will help you get a handle on things and that itself will make you a more of a catch to any potential partners you happen to run into. From the sounds of it you have to change where you've been looking though.
Screw what your immediate circle say, the internet is great for this sort of thing. It's better than meeting some random person in a pub/club, as you can find someone who shares your interests and particular eccentricities.
Yaffle
Volunteer Moderator
We're here by PM or open posting for you.
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