Thanks, that was helpful...I'm not there yet but I'm closer. Deleting the D3D11.dll file ( just renamed it) has fixed the OpenXR abort problems at least. I now have consistent crash-free behavior no matter how I try to start ED, which is good. I've tried following your above steps exactly and launching from the edlaunch.exe shortcut, also tried creating a Steam shortcut and launch from the web url shortcut, and tried launching directly from the Games window of ED. All will open the game normally...the bad news is that they all will open in 2D mode. The shortcuts both attempt to open SteamVR (probably because of the /VR parameter in the command line), but it doesn't open completely, I get the Headset Not Detected message and the game opens in pancake mode.
I now believe that the problem is somehow the bundled VDXR runtime is being completely ignored in all cases. I went into the Developer settings from the SteamVR settings menu (from the desktop), and made sure that only the OpenXR Toolkit API was enabled (there are two other API layer settings, one for Oculus and one for OBS, I disabled both just to be sure). No matter what I try, the OpenXR runtime is not opened. No system crashes though, which is nice.
Maybe there's a special command line parameter (i.e., /OpenXR or something) to use in the shortcuts to tell OpenXR to open instead of SteamVR? I'm flummoxed, any help is appreciated! I've got to head out for a few hours but will be back on this tonight. And btw...I've posted this problem on 3 forums and you guys are the only ones who've responded so far, so many thanks!