I don't enjoy having to spending time not playing the game while researching a convoluted upgrade mechanic.
I don't enjoy having to stop my game, go to some external website because the game doesn't tell you what you need to know.
I don't enjoy driving around a planet shooting rocks for 30 minutes to 1 hour.
I don't enjoy scanning wakes over and over again.
I don't enjoy the scavenger hunt for materials.
I do understand your complaints - I made them too.
The problem is, that the engineering process has become very convoluted and complicated, because it was from the beginning quite complicated. I did not experience this, I am new to the game, but one can read about it. And then it was changed, and partially nerfed and changed again. The result we see today. It is supposedly better that before, but quite complicated. I personally think, that the Engineers are not a very good idea. An experienced player said, that he would like better, if the CMDR himself has to learn and collect materials to do the upgrades himself, would not have changed the need to collect and research, but would maybe more motivating..
But I think the system will not be changed, it is here to stay, with small updates maybe. The problem is, that many gamers today think that they must have everything immediately, and the engineering process is here to slow this down a bit. So we have documents and posts like 'Engineering done in 3 days', then shortcuts are nerfed, and so on. Its a pity, but this is how things are. And you, if you want to do combat, feel forced to engineer.
And now you are in the worst situation: You want a certain upgrade and are waiting for it, and are forced to do specific things to get it. And this way it is a grind.
Commmenting on the SRV 'shooting rocks' part: I was lucky and did enjoy driving around in the SRV, since it is still quite new for me. And lately I explored a system inside the bubble, unpopulated, and quite nice. There I landed on a moon, without special features. And after driving for a few minutes I saw interesting wave forms on the scanner. While driving towards it I found several mineral locations and did even receive a G4 material (Polonium), and lots of other mats. Then I found a place, with a crashed ship, an occupied escape pod and several cargo containers! All this was guarded by 3 skimmers, easy to shoot down. I did this 3 times in the same system on two different moons and every time found a place like this. Once I met another (NPC) ship, who told me 'that he had traveled a long way for the things in my cargo hold'. Since I just was lifting off the moon he could no get into position and I jumped out, had another pirate after me in the next system, which I shot down.
So - just 'shooting at rocks' turned into a nice adventure. Why? Because I was not in a hurry, I did not look specifically for something, I just played the game. And FD did a lot to make this enjoyable. But if you feel 'forced' to a certain upgrade just now, because you think you 'need' it, it will bring you into 'grindy' situations.
Yes, it is a bit silly to do wake scans over and over, I also complained about this. Why? As an explorer type I wanted the FSD upgrade - and felt forced to do this. Now, that I have it I am doing things more as an adenvture. Yes I have 3 engineers unlocked, several more introduced and I will unlock more. But I have time, and this is the thing...
So you can jump from Grade 2 to Grade 5?
So, if I don't have the mats for G3 and G4 but I have a lot of G2, I can just spam G2 then get to G5 and pin blueprint?
It is not different to other grades and reputation gains. After unlocking an engineer you start with reputation 0, neutral, or how you want to call it. That means grade 1 access. Every time you do an upgrade your reputation grows. And if you sell certain things (specified at INARA) to the engineers base, your reputation grows too, and this brings you to grade 2 access, and so on. You can alternate between upgrading and selling, you can prepare (like I did) and have things to sell before you visit the engineer the first time. You also should plan what you could upgrade, and how. And yes, like another poster here said, you can do 'senseless' upgrades, remove them and start over, since every engineering step counts. But this will cost you materials, so I prefer the 'sell things method'. Just keep in mind that 'pinning' an upgrade (one per engineer is possible) has several problems (pinned upgrade become unpinned) and if you use the method, you will not gain reputation with the engineer! So better to visit her/him and do it there until you have grade 5 access.
I hope, that you get over the annoyance about the grind, and receive your wanted upgrades.