Then morally it's not very different is it? Also, you don't have to be a masterful RPer to do a decent job at it, most RPers I have been with that do RP outside of MMO's have no trouble with it.
You've been RPing with some real bad RPers then. I had a party were someone ended up betraying the party. He never actually revealed it though before he made his move, which made perfect sense in the circumstances. He was offered a deal to basically save himself, make himself rich, but at the expense of the party. He took it. It also made sense that he did, because for the whole campaign he had always looked out for himself first, only grudgingly shared with the other party members, anything he found on bodies he would keep himself and not tell others about, so there was a pattern of behavior to it. So when it came up, we all groaned because we knew he would take the deal. Of course, the rest of the party escaped and hunted him down and it made for a great role play. By the way, the person who plays the character was completely opposite in real life, one of the most helpful kind people you could know.
I'v played someone who had a very twisted sense of morals. He had them, but almost no one else would recognize them as such. It ended up turning the party against him because he refused to be budged from them. He ended up fighting the rest of the party. I was told by the other players it was some of the most fun they had had in a campaign. His moral system looked nothing like my own as a person.
I wonder if you actually dig into the philosophy of it, because from what it sounds like you have a very hard time separating yourself from your character. You say your character recognizes the same values you do. Your line: "I recognize as in real life that being a fair and decent person will get me farther than being a jerk will. If that understanding makes sense in the real world, it also makes sense in the game" says it all. The thing is, a well played character can completely NOT recognize that and not end up being a horrible trope filled character. Just like how some people don't think that way in real life (and honestly, being a fair and decent person doesn't get you very far in real life). Not everyone in real life thinks the same way you do, so every character in a game world shouldn't either. Whether it be yours or someone else s.
The fact that at the upper echelons people do some dirty, rotten things, still belays the important fact that everyone needs friends. No raging jerk can come into power without other people to support them. Misanthropes don't get ahead. Maybe in some places they do, but in the vast majority of the world, being a nice but self-capable person will end up getting you a better life. Because of business ties, new ideas, all kinds of things. We're a communitarian, tribal species. All of our advantages and tendencies, forged by evolution, and specially adapted to suit our particular circumstances. Our vastly powerful vocal centers. Opposable thumbs. Walking upright. Best throwing arm in the Mammal world. Incredibly elaborate social understanding. An absolute dependency on other human beings for survival. An 18 year childhood. The myth that being a jerk will get you ahead ignores reality. Most misanthropes are left alone and friendless after awhile. Bad reputations and people don't go near them. They sit in a pit of their own nastiness, it's really just pathetic. If you screw over the people close to you, you will suffer. Period. Do a bad job at work? Get fired. Cheat on your wife? Divorce. Cheat with somebody else's wife? Get shot. Steal from people close to you? They push you away and tell everyone you know. Jerks only get ahead as far as they have friends. They might still be jerks, but if they have a huge pile of money or a bunch of guns, they're basically insulated from the ramifications of their bad behavior, at least temporarily. If that's what you mean, well, I mostly agree with you. But plenty of people do it by being consistent, honest, and with integrity, and they get far ahead.
People like reliable people. Good people get ahead by virtue of being appreciated and valued. People think well of them, and they put their opinions and thoughts into consideration. Nice people and reliable people have an open ear with people they've nurtured good relationships with.
If you look at a workplace where the employees are well appreciated and paid, they actually work harder and stay longer. Minimizing training costs, and maximizing profit margins. There is a whole lot of data on the subject, and it's absolutely true.
The real fact of it is, playing as a jerk (or a trope) to me is something I don't want to see. I want to see the best game environment that I can. Jerks suck, and I want them to suffer so that they can't profit from it. That requires players though to encourage that. I'm aiming to encourage good conduct, because I think it makes for a more enjoyable game for everyone. Myself included.
I've played evil characters before. Most of the time though it hurts your game. It alienates you, and there's always some backstabbing (even backstabbing the party or not sharing loot is a stupid trope, because it's completely overdone. It's the most common one. The evil character always just makes everyone else have a worse time, because they screw up and alienate themselves.) I've also played evil characters with a very interesting story, whose real motivations were as insurrectionists, or real, honest to god psychos. Once a hidden cult leader, that was fun. I've played it, tried it, it's not for me. Because it leads to fights, time wasting, and a lot of the time you just get killed off. As is appropriate.
But at this point I just don't play evil characters. And my characters definitely aren't saps. I'm usually able to out-think and predict what my GM was going to do, and I adjust accordingly. In D&D terms, I tended towards playing a high-intelligence rogue (either TWF or an Arcane trickster type) who was cold and ready to kill, but never an evil, malicious guy. Though definitely an assassin. Fantastic assassin. Best assassin I've ever played. I like an environment where I can out-think and surprise my opponents. I'm definitely well versed with the cloak and dagger.
As ED is a sandbox, I play with honor and integrity because that will create the environment for everyone else. Most player interactions should be positive. By doing that, others will feel comfortable to do the same, and then everyone, collectively has more fun. There's a big difference between getting player interdicted once in a while, and it happening all the time. It poisons the game for people, it ticks them off, and they act differently as a result. I can only prevent that by not being a jerk, and by hunting jerks.