“I have an apple that thinks its a pear. And a bun that thinks it’s a cat. And a lettuce that thinks its a lettuce."
"It’s a clever lettuce, then."
"Hardly," she said with a delicate snort. "Why would anything clever think it’s a lettuce?"
"Even if it is a lettuce?" I asked.
"Especially then," she said. "Bad enough to be a lettuce. How awful to think you are a lettuce too.”
Auri, The Wise Man's Fear, Patrick Rothfuss
“Call a jack a jack. Call a spade a spade. But always call a * a lady. Their lives are hard enough, and it never hurts to be polite.”
Arliden, The Name of the Wind, Patrick Rothfuss
Am I being clear enough? If you like fantasy or literature, go read this man's books. Will post more if you need convincing.
Dang filters. * is the technically accurate name for a "lady of the night".