I'm assuming the flight model of SF is similar to ED.
It's not, not really. In practice it's quite a bit more simplistic.
It might have a similar underlying physics model, but it's even harder to see.
ships that are already disabled and drifting
There is no difference between a ship that is already disabled and one that somehow becomes disabled in combat.
disable it's engines, stop it making attempts to escape using other methods
There is no way to escape from something with engines without engines. The idea that maneuvering thrusters that do not need main power would be powerful or last long enough to prevent an intact aggressor from matching and countering one's maneuvers is way less plausible than the existence of boarding actions, as is the idea that they'd be powerful enough to generate the forces needed to sever a docking connection or do meaningful damage to a ship built to withstand multiple g of acceleration and engage in close combat.
and in the end killing the crew and taking over before they hit the uncancellable self destruct, nope, not going to happen.
I find the idea that everyone would always have access to a reliable self-destruct option, that the option would be likely to remain functional on a ship that's been severely damaged, or that people would commonly resort to it rather than risk capture or even death, just as unlikely as the high-seas equivalents.
How is this hypothetical self-destruct option supposed to work?
That's just earth sailing ship pirate fantasy, and everyone wants to be a pirate, yaaaar, but that just doesn't work in space!
The more I think about it, the more I disagree.
Once a single condition is fulfilled--that of manned vessels--then boarding actions against them become plausible.