It's Thursday again which means it's time for another episode of
INSIDE STAR CITIZEN
The show that 6 extremely happy devs froze to death to make for you!
In today's episode:
* Big things that everyone loves about spaceship games: Prisons, Caves, Tanks. In today's episode- Cars! We open with devs talking about how much they love cars and have always worked with cars. Oh, word? Me too! "They can never match the maneuverability of a spaceship but..." YEAH GOSH WHAT A SALIENT POINT
* The devs go on to discuss the work they've been doing on these entirely-pointless additions to the spaceship game. Working on physics! More physically based tire models! This is very important! (Guys, Elite just put out a single rover and IT WAS FINE. But keep on collecting those paychecks while you model wheel friction in the MMO where 3 players can't inhabit the same spaceship, I guess.)
* They're refactoring everything about vehicles etc. etc. and I'm pretty sure they're just repeating themselves at this point and god, who gives a
gently caress. "The Roc (mining vehicle) was important because it was the first ground vehicle to have a specific purpose."
Motherer it was like the 16th ground vehicle you sold. They've improved it! I hope they "Improved" the part where it falls right through the loving ground when you try to take it out of your ships! Oh, they didn't? Oh well!
* The tank is the first vehicle to use the "Track physics" and it won't be using wheels to turn. I'm glad they took time to reveal this never-been-done-before tank tech to us. Also there are new guns on the ground vehicles. Nobody uses ground vehicles guys. There's no reason to use ground vehicles ever. Why are you like this.
* They're doing that "In the future" stuff, "Some day" stuff again. Oh poo poo Jared skip skip skip
* IT'S TIME TO TALK ABOUT MINING AGAIN. Oh, I'm sorry, they faked me out. It's a
fix to the
refinery UI so that the
loving close window button works. They are featuring this on their weekly show about progress. Also, they added an auto logout! How much more evident do they need to make it that they aren't working on this loving game?
* OOPS DOUBLE REVERSE FAKEOUT IT IS A MINING UPDATE. This marks the like 700th week in a row where they talk about mining, their only game mechanic. They are shoving more poo poo into the mining UI. Half of what Jared says is just incomprehensible gibberish to me. "Members of the modular content team recently completed a sprint on the non-commercial overlays for refinery decks, coming to Alpha 3.13"
did I just have a loving stroke. Okay so he's doublespeaking his way around what they actually did which I think is... they took down some of the neon advertisements in the space stations. That's... that's it? An intern could do that in an hour. Jesus. They sure do keep reshuffling the deck chairs in their "Titanic" single-star-system PTU!
* Oh boy you can uh, turn off the light in your pods? This sure sounds like a complete waste of loving time that they will do for one area and not bother to extend to any other area in the game. "You can control individual prop lights like lamps, giving players
unprecedented control of your own space." Wow! The ability to move lamps! Unprecedented!
* I guess nobody else wanted to come on camera or maybe they all died because it's just Jared talking and honestly I can't listen to his smug rear end for more than 5 minutes. Something about more hospital areas for one of the endless, pointless cities. Nobody is connecting the dots about how much overhead it takes to enable gameplay for stuff like the ambulance ships, and how hard it would be to expand that to other systems.
* He's just droning and I just don't loving care. Skipping skipping skipping. Endless unfinished grey interiors. I'm having a dissociative episode. None of this matters. They never show any gameplay. There are no mechanics. The future is an endless art team, stamping out unusable assets, forever.
