That was really interesting, and made me think about two things...
There's a theory of game design called
the Mechanics-Dynamics-Aesthetics framework. Essentially it says that developers' primary experience of their game is through its mechanics (how should this ship yaw? How should it react to damage?), while players' primary experience is through its aesthetics (does it feel challenging to shoot down this other ship?). Listening to that episode made me realise they've got so much mechanics, and they've been so deep in it for so long now, that they've lost sight of the aesthetics. I've been in similar situations before - it's a really easy trap to fall into, but quite hard to crawl out of once you've become an expert in the wrong mindset.
Also, a first major release is a difficult thing. You've spent however long hammering away at the mechanics, being mocked and taunted by code that just
will not work, thinking you'd beaten it and having that snatched away, and generally being tortured for a living. Then finally it's over - you've slain the beast and it's time to show the world your work - the highest point in the development process, where you can be proud of a job well done. When that moment of elation is followed by the people you worked for booing and jeering - which it usually is - the effect can be heartbreaking. It's extremely tempting in that moment to try and deflect that heartache somehow - they just don't understand, if only we'd had more time, etc.
Comments like "the physics is so accurate the flight model feels bad" make a lot more sense in that context. It's a way of coping with the pain by highlighting players' lack of experience with the thing you have the most experience of. Obviously that's a problem if it becomes a permanent position, but for now it's just a polite holding position while they regain their player's-eye-view of the game. So long as players stream their experiences and narrate their feelings, forum members politely post their views, and the community generally articulates the way they see the world, they should be able to get back to a productive situation easily enough.