What do we know about the Guardians? We know they built dumb structures covered in triangles. Who else does that? That's right - people who build playing card houses out of cards that have been cut in half. And that's stupid and crazy.
There's more. Guardians are so dumb they picked a fight with the Thargoids, the hottest and most happening race in the galaxy. The only reason they won was that the Thargoids were too honorable to sacrifice any of their actual strong troops, in case they broke a mandible.
Guardians only attacked the Thargoids because they were jealous of how much more attractive the Thargoids were. This is proven in reports from Ram Tah, but he hid them because he's a dirty Guardian lover (unlike Palin, who - not coincidentally - is also a way thiccer boi than Ram Tah).
All I'm saying is, we should be making bonds with the Thargoids while we're in contact with them. We still have a chance, they just think we're playing hard to get. Please, this is our last chance. 2020 xenoromance update will be the best update of the game.
There's more. Guardians are so dumb they picked a fight with the Thargoids, the hottest and most happening race in the galaxy. The only reason they won was that the Thargoids were too honorable to sacrifice any of their actual strong troops, in case they broke a mandible.
Guardians only attacked the Thargoids because they were jealous of how much more attractive the Thargoids were. This is proven in reports from Ram Tah, but he hid them because he's a dirty Guardian lover (unlike Palin, who - not coincidentally - is also a way thiccer boi than Ram Tah).
All I'm saying is, we should be making bonds with the Thargoids while we're in contact with them. We still have a chance, they just think we're playing hard to get. Please, this is our last chance. 2020 xenoromance update will be the best update of the game.
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