I'm a new player, and the game actually seems pretty well-balanced to me. The fact you have an entire mode where you can still chat to other players but never get a nasty surprise from them is about as good a solution as you can ask for. Having all the cargo destroyed along with the ship means that genuine piracy (via hatch breakers or jettisons) is not only possible, but incentivised over mindless killing. And that's all despite the truth that you have decent opportunity to avoid PvP combat, via interdiction, high-waking, silent-running, etc.
The only two problems I personally have are:
1: The quality of the 'gankers'. In my short experience with the game other (human) players have never tried to steal my cargo, create an interesting interaction, have a genuine fight, or do anything more than try to make me die as quickly as possible. I've been shot over engineer ports by people hovering less than 10k from the ground (the equivalent of CoD 'campers'), been attacked in my shieldless, cargo-less, DBX when arriving in Colonia (presumably an attempt to destroy my exploration data?), rammed when trying to land in a starport, and when I have fought back, they've disappeared or called in friends. NPCs will ask me to jettison cargo, or chase me across systems if I have valuable stuff, and have more reason to do what they do than other players I've met, ironically making them feel more 'human' than the gankers.
2. The PvP needs a bit more variety beyond FA off dogfighting in blank space. Escort missions, fighting around the architecture of stations, or on planetary surfaces, chase missions through asteroids, defense missions, capture the 'flag' stuff, missions that require you to repair ships while at the same time fighting off others, smugglers vs police, 'first to deliver something' missions to get people fighting in cargo ships... I don't know, but something more than random interdiction and repetitive jousts or sticking behind a less manoeuvrable ship. Because the combat is so simplistic that it will (and has) often boil down to ship quality rather than pilot skill. Bring a little of that CQC complexity to the main game PvP. Maybe this is in the game, but I've yet to see it.
As I said, though, I think solo mode solves so many of the problems discussed in this thread, and I think it's pretty great.