You implement all this is into a single player simulation and let the player choose for themselves what they want to endure. Today you have fun manually loading cargo, tomorrow you click the insta-load button and take off right away. Single player game can offer options and variety.Let me challenge such kind of thoughts...
You said you don't want insta cargo load/unload, usually under the pretense of immersion and realism, but how about these :
1. Will you demand no insta ship startup? You want to fly the aurora? Do pass the non skippable 10 minutes startup sequence first, oops sorry there is no one I-win startup button either, you have to learn how your ship works, and memorize them.
2. You want to dock at a port? Do adhere the protocols first, if the atc told you to wait in the line and fly in circles for 20 minutes then you are obliged to comply.
3. You want to embark or disembark somewhere? please do follow the immigration and security procedures first.
Etc.
So, where do we draw the line for such immersion and realism? At what cost?
But some guy at CIG decided at some point that SC is going to be another Massive Multiplayer Online Game and suddenly they are in the mess of having to balance everything around a shared real time universe. As a result you have players fighting over the direction of everything. Everyone ends up with some mix of mechanics they hate und like and can't be tailored to personal preferences. Just look at Elite Dangerous how that turns out, "ship transfer" is one of the more recent keywords.
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