@Cortano one i want to answer a couple of your questions.
1. I found you because you dropped too close to the Painite Hot Spot (many cmdrs make this mistake), i saw the bandwidth meter and that you were in instance. You will show that way upto 80Km from the attacker. it is a simple task to sweep round the hotspot in ever increasing arcs till you get radar signal or sight of the player.
2. The weapon of choice were overcharged pacifiers with Screening Shell experimental, an imp hammer with long range and feedback mods, and the deal breaker was the grom bomb. thats over 1000 DPs (admittedly only deliverable every 2.3 seconds.
3. How could you have avoided this situation? You dropped way too close to the hotspot, try a couple of hundred km at least. Use the bandwidth meter and contacts tabs if you are in open to see if there are players in your instance (ctrl + b for bandwidth meter) keep your wits about you. your ship was more solid than a lot of the ships i have seen there so you are on the right path there. I have a recording of the instance if you would like me to upload it and send you a link.
none of this is me bragging or trying to belittle you, i am taking the time to answer your questions as concisely and accurately as i can, so that you can learn how to protect yourself better. I undoubtedly will get some flak but i do not care about that. I appreciate your attitude and your willingness to learn.